webnovel
Raiohosore
RaiohosoreAuthor6yr
2018-12-08 20:51

The author here doing the shameless author thing! Hope y'all like my book, I would love constructive criticism so I can improve my writing and I hope y'all will be patient with me!!! Till the next time Sayonars desu!!

Undying Will

Raiohosore
3.7
176 Chs

Liked by 3 people

LIKE
Replies3
ETERNIDADE
ETERNIDADELv5

Ok

6yr
1
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4

I think u should rewrite, make no mistake, u work isnt ****, its interesting but damn man, some **** be confusing and a bit senseless, and the English and structure. many of the reviews mention whats wrong[other than the retarded ones, ignore em]... So yah,maybe re-write?, like from a fresh slate, and if u do, post this in the FF genre..eitherway GL....u got something interesting but hard to read

4yr
1
JoJo_Soni
JoJo_SoniLv4

can u tell me who is the love interest. I always wanna know that before reading a fanfic

4yr
Other Reviews
DragoPackMan
DragoPackManLv4

Reveal spoiler

4yr

STPRCOMMENDINGGIRL
STPRCOMMENDINGGIRLLv14

Quite annoying.. Like I read 10+ Chp Still has Not know What MC Power Or what he can do.. What I know Just Profile Profile again... The hell Atleast Just give a hint bro.. Boring.

5yr
Grandpa_Deadpool
Grandpa_DeadpoolLv4

Imma be honest with you it's good but not good it's bad but not too bad it's just confusing asf cause the chapters lack information it lacks INFORMATION AND BACKGROUND I understand about the devil fruit and **** but the bounties just in the hundreds of thousands what is this like one piece but the low budget edition cause if you beat doflamingo one of the seven warlords and just get a 600k bounty why don't you just kill yourself ha. The story is good but you lack information and background creativity

4yr
Daoist198784
Daoist198784Lv4

From the very beginning I chose two ****ty abilities, which is already annoying, they also did not normally explain how these ****ty abilities work From the very beginning I chose two ****ty abilities, which is already annoying, they also did not normally explain how these ****ty abilities work

5yr
EnderPL
EnderPLLv6

What a disappointment... I don’t know One Piece so I was just here for the novel but ehhh... Let’s start. Writing quality is good, there’s not a lot of mistakes. Stability of updates for me sucks but meh... Story starts great and I don’t mean the meeting with god as that was stupid af. I mean the time at the island with his parents and the escape. But after...wtf? Ok kid is being train but why is he calling his teacher Senpai? It should be sensei if you want to use Japanese words at least learn the meaning. Then he meets a fat guy that he trusts the moment he sees and the author tried to make the meeting funny just to destroy the settings in the novel that he made before by killing MCs mother and promising revenge. Then the story is just shiit mc changed to a idiot child ( he’s more than 30 btw) know one piece like the back of his hand but his family dies and author doesn’t even write about it. Then bla bla-bla-bla and a lot os stupid shiit. Mc OP? Fuk NO! He had one fight till chapter 70 and ... he lost. Not counting mobs. The story is jumping all over place and he just don’t care after as you don’t know what you read. Overall a total disappointment and waist of time.

4yr
Ryan_Nguyen_4639
Ryan_Nguyen_4639Lv4

Good job.

5yr
_Medeiros
_MedeirosLv2

Reveal spoiler

5yr
Captain_Bonta_kun
Captain_Bonta_kunLv14

-------------I thinks it's going to be fun. The name of the MC alone is funny naming him after a time machine 😂👍_--------------------------------------------------------------

5yr
Ryan_Nguyen_4639
Ryan_Nguyen_4639Lv4

Ok.

5yr
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