Review Detail of noctifer in My brother's friend

I'm fully sorry if you're offended by my review. I am rather finicky about things, and I will be as honest as I can so you can take this as advice to improve with. [-] Writing Quality: 3 stars -> Decent. It's comprehensible, and lots of descriptions. However, as a reader, I found myself wandering a lot throughout the endless descriptions of everything. Maybe tone it down? Sometimes, a description of a house could last 2-3 paragraphs. There's no action, and we as the reader are left wondering—this is nice and all, but why am I reading this? Also, please check on some of your medical facts, No need to make sure everything is 100% correct, but try to aim for some accuracy. Quite a few grammatical mistakes, you might want to invest in Grammarly. Also, your characters tend to monologue, leading to really long character dialogue. People in comments have told you this before, so I won't comment on it as much. Last thing, you have your writing all bunched up. It turns into one massive block of text, which is jarring to the eyes and turns a reader away. On a device, large blocks of texts will drive away readers. [-] Stability: 4 stars -> Pretty stable! You seem to be fluctuating a little bit with the middle chapters, but that's okay, as you have mentioned it is your first novel. I see you're trying for daily updates. Good luck! I reccomend you stockpile chapters and set a timing for when you update. This will allow more readers to flock to your story. [-] Story Development: 4 stars -> Can't really say much at the moment, due to only having 7 chapters so far. But I can see you've set up some major conflicts, and introduced main characters. You've given potential for major arcs in the future chapters. Good job! There's an aura of mystery surrounding the motives of many of the characters, which will be pleasant to find out. [-] Character Design: 3 stars -> Here's the thing about the characters. I don't know *why* we should care for them. I feel nothing, as a reader, to the plights of your characters. You have to *make* me feel sad for them. Show me why they deserve to be happy. -Tang An: I don't know a lot about her personality. You've shown me that she's gone through pain--> make her question missing memories, why her mother hates her. Of course, this is still early in the story. But the start of the story is most crucial for you to hook readers in. You've shown a lot of tragedy happening to the people around her--> Auntie Chen. Show Tang An helping her through her grief, show us that she is a kind-hearted character. Other than that, Tang An seems unoriginal and similar to many of the other FL's here in WN. -Lu Xiang Nice usage of conflicts, you've shown me lots of his backstory and his motivations. But how did he fall in love with Tang An that quickly? That cliche is overly used. Take up a challenge! Show him falling in love with her! Of course, this is up to your preference. Do it your way, in the end, the author should write for themselves too. None of the other characters really stood out to me, but once again, this is only chapter 7. [-] World Background: -> Set in modern age. Nice building on the Lu and Tang family's businesses. Nothing out of the ordinary, and I can picture most things pretty well. OVERALL 3.6 stars. Still in development, so I can't really say too much. You can tell a story's potential by chapter 20, and most readers will only read up to there before deciding whether a story is really for them or not. But there's lots of potential with your story, and the more you continue writing, the easier it will be. Good luck on your journey!