Review Detail of XOMatsumaeohana in My brother's friend

Review Swap Valid as of chapter 6 Writing Quality: A few notable grammar mistakes - ".--> should be -->." (Don't put the punctuation after the " Put it before) 🤔 why is Aunty Chen's place capitalized? Is that deliberate? - Break down your paragraphs more. For WN stories, when readers see a bunch of text they tend to skim it rather than read. - Chapter 2 -> "would-> (W) would" my stay?I ---> my stay? (Add space) I - Chapter 4-- I don't think you need to use ; so many times. A simple full stop would do when your ending your sentences. This sentence would read better if you added --> Oh(?) And rewrote the sentence to --> I'm just lost in thought, or I'm just thinking about a few things. - Chapter 5--> Im'm---> change to --> I'm You don't have to capitalize the shouting since you already wrote he spoke in a harsh voice. Capitalizing for yelling actually looks tacky and most stories use actions to convey anger instead. I have more suggestions, mistakes I found but this grammar issue can easily be solved if you used grammarly (writing program) -The long dialogue in the prologue can be broken down, you could have the doctor pause in mid speech before continuing. Character Development: Not much I can comment on with the lack of chapters. No characters particularly stood out yet. 🤔 aside from the brothers friend. We got a lot insight on his thought process. Story Development: Again too soon to judge. But from what I've read, this is a story centers around the broken past of the protagonist. Love at first sight is okay, but don't jump the romance too quickly. Let it build slowly with the characters slowly getting to know each other first.