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Yuri_yuri
Yuri_yuriLv44yr
2020-08-08 12:36

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AsuraMonarch
AsuraMonarchLv6

Overall great but with a few flaws writing quality- Again, I am a speed reader and i rarely spot grammar or spelling issues. But from what I've seen (and remember) it is pretty damn good. Stability- For someone writing about another successful fanfic the update rate is fantastic. Though i wish bleached multiverse comes back... story development- Good but somehow feels rushed. He went from greenhorn graduate to superhuman real quick. Don't make me mention the romance. Sure you are going to remedy it by making fillers but still. Character design- Well while the MC can be like a jack in the box. His main personality is his determination and drive. He has experienced getting a friend taken by him cause he was powerless. The feeling of being a 'commodity' so this drives him to become stronger. The scientist past life only makes it stronger. But Yan Mei is kinda shallow Crybaby tsundere when first introduced. Naive thinker (the one with children begging) aside from that her personality isn't set in stone. Hina on the other hand her recent story with the nobles feels like it is her way of coping to be joking and all. But it doesn't explain why when that one guy touched her she literally sliced the guy's hand off. I know she's only been in for a few chaps so I'm gonna cut you some slack. Her reason for being in love with MC is clear too it must've felt like herself back then wanting to become stronger but her maybe for revenge but MC to protect himself and his family (pure speculation) World Background- Pretty damn good. I ain't gonna lie but i rarely fully read world building chapters or just skim through it. So I'm not a good judge. Btw. I feel like you are an author that sneakily establishes the OPness not just bestows it all at once.

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