Review Detail of Bluerose0308 in -Null-

This is a very good story so far! I love the descriptional details and how thorough your characters personalities are. Your vocabulary is also expanded, which makes your story even more enjoyable. A few pieces of criticisms I just wanted to add are that your writing style is a little choppy and cliché. For instance, the whole section on how Aiden just so happened to guess the main protagonists and just so happened to start encountering her more frequently. To counter these kind of occurrences, try making the events a but more unique to spice up and individualize your writing. You could do this by rewording or adding to the dramatized affect like how certain scripts of dramas do. Additionally, your writing is choppy in the sense that you write out each scene very.... Formalized. In an algorithm that's like, "She does this, then goes here, talks to him, and goes home." These are all obviously just my opinions lol, but I hope I helped in any way I could. Good luck!