Review Detail of UnliMegane in A Walk Through The Eternity

Hi there. UnliMegane here, dropping by for a quick review. Well, most of the things I wanted to point out have already been discussed by the other reviewers, so I won't expound on them much anymore. I will, however, try to give my two cents in the grammar department. But I'll try not to sound too harsh. I hope. Ahem. Anyway, I won't fault you for this much because it's a challenge us non-native English speakers face very often. Just a few quick pointers then: *Look out for Homonyms - You know Homonyms. Those words which sound so alike but mean two very different things. In the latest chapter, I've already spotted two as early as the first few paragraphs (i.e. there/their and faiths/fates). *Know your Tenses - It's a pit I often fall into, myself. It's a bit of a chore, but it certainly pays to brush up on your present/past/future tenses and all their variations. *Sentence Flow - Sometimes, more isn't necessarily better. Try to see if it's possible to cut one long sentence into separate parts which are more manageable in size, but still convey the intended ideas clearly. *Punctuation Marks - Another thing I'm also having trouble with. Them pesky comas and hyphens are a pain, but knowing when and where to place them will help with the flow and coherence of your sentences immensely. That's about it. I like the overall concept of your story. Reading about a villain's rise to villainy can be a very trippy read, and can attract a specific type of audience. The litrpg elements are a nice touch too. Just a bit confusing with all the flash forwards and backwards and whatnot. I hope you'll continue to work hard and improve your writing. You're doing nicely though. More power. Peace out ;)