Review Detail of DazzlingGem in Assassins Rebellion

I wouldn't have read past the first chapter if not for this promised review. But, after reading the latest chapter, I think it will be an exciting story moving forward. So, here's my review. ___ **Writing Quality: 3/5** I won't focus on this criteria much since I've already seen a few comments better than mine will be. I just wanted to add, writing in active voice was good but I think not every sentence should be in active voice. It then becomes something like, 'She did this. She did that.', repeatedly. It's monotonous for me. Try to add some descriptions maybe, in the middle of these sentences? Though I did see some improvements in the latest chapter. **Stability of Updates: 4/5** You've been uploading daily so it's a four. But since it has not even been a week, then I won't give a perfect score. **Story Development: 2/5** There is a story, but how it developed was not well-written. Just the first chapter, you had Kaylah understood that the house was burning, then, her thought was to destroy a wall. Where did that even come from?! At least show that she'd checked other means of escape? As for her motive for revenge, just because her dad told her to kill someone, she'd do it? Your first draft of her just hearing her father yell, “Valentina Grayson, I curse you a thousand deaths!”, was better in my opinion. At least it depended on her choice that, maybe it was that person's fault that her father died so she'll get revenge. Then, the sequence of events after was too fast. She escaped, ran, hid, turned crazy. XD And six months suddenly passed, just like that! Personally, I prefer that chapter you've posted in the forum. Though I get that the story now was already different from that. **Character Design: 2/5** Well, from the story development, I didn't like Kaylah, until she turned crazy anyway, giggling and talking to herself. LOL Anyway, it felt like she doesn't have a will of her own. First, she just followed whatever her father told her, then the system's. At least explain her actions more than just letting her go with the flow. She's not a kid, is she? Let her think on her own. The system was a much better character. XD **World Background: 3/5** Not enough details yet. ___ You said evil, right? Well, not really, but I think mine has the lowest rating again, 2.8 stars.