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DarkImmortal_Intel
DarkImmortal_IntelLv146yr
2018-12-03 04:43

The story is really good. The characters are flushed out. My only real criticism is that the chapters are a little short. I would combine 2-3 chapters together. Or maybe make the first 11 chapters turn into 2-3 chapters instead. Since only a few hours have passed since the start of the story.

To love the Heartless

KingMojidoriz
Not enough ratings
24 Chs

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KingMojidoriz
KingMojidorizAuthor

thank you for the ideas on how to make it better! I will try to work on making the chapters longer. The only reason I made them this short was that I actually saw some people complaining about too long of chapters in other books. I thought it was weird for someone complaining about to long of a chapter, but I decided to play it safe and keep them a little shorter. But now I know that they're too short, so I'll make them longer. Thank you for the review, it makes me happy to see someone giving me some constructuive criticism!

6yr
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