Review Detail of WithJ in Tales of the Supremes

Updates No problems for me. Writing The writing was descriptive enough to paint a picture of the magical realm and characters. However, one of the major issue was the constant switching between past and present tense. I think the author was kind of struggling to use proper tenses. Author should pick one tense and use it consistently throughout otherwise it detracts from smooth narration. Usually present tense for talking, past tense for descriptions. For example >> “The beast WAS now lying onto the ground. He DOES NOT know if it IS dead, but he knew it COULDN’T harm them anymore.” Edited example >> “The beast WAS now lying onto the ground. He DID NOT know if it WAS dead, but he knew it COULDN’T harm them anymore.” Using one tense consistently will make your story flow a lot smoother and easier to grip reader’s attention because you already have the basis for good writing. I hope this helps. Characters I think it’s still a bit too early in the story to give a proper review of the characters. The character development is slowly progressing with each chapter. My favourite group of characters were the Vice Heads though. They were all so funny fighting with each other. I find there’s an air of mystery around the MC. We know her reason for existence, which is to make sure they win the war given a second chance, but there’s also more that hasn’t been said. I can understand her actions too, because she already knows what’s going to happen in the future. And she’s doing all that she can to stop the tragedy from happening. She’s not wasting any time with her purpose. World & Story Overall the pacing of the story is not bad in my opinion and it is still being developed as of this review (I’ve read up to chapter 24). I find myself more invested when Tala was with her guardian peers rather than when she’s in the human realm though. Despite the grammar, I could still imagine the fantasy world the author has created.