Over all Pretty good and im glad some one finally wrote a RWBY fan fic on here keep up the good work pretty good story so far ....................

I never know how to review something besides saying that I like it, although sometimes I just spew out the random that is flowing around in my head. With that said we need an anime style harem where nothing actually happens in the beginning (that can be changed later) including the team RWBY (and one original character) in my opinion. That sounds good, other than that keep doing what you are doing. With less grammar mistakes, cause I think what you mean is vitality and not witality but maybe I am wrong.

Wow! finally found a RWBY fan fic! loving your work so far and I hope you keep it up, 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

The way the story is portrayed is terrible, thw charcters always speak (not that it is a bad thing), but that the only thing in the chapter, there is no narrator, everything is portrayed between conversation of 2 characters. The structer of the writing is really bad, thing like space between ":" "{}" is zero. Moreover when you open a bracket or parentesis you almost never close it, and you somehow alternate between " " and { } for no reason. The story is blank with no twist or anything in it; same for common sense, like: a 2 years old figthing a grimm, like wtf?

Good story so far pls include the new info from the new season .................................................................................

It good and overall story line so far nice and it also help me in my story so it good to read more story that has system and etc in it plus I like all story that long

I love this story it is probably the best RWBY fan fic I have read but as everything it has it's flaws first is the Grammer although it gets better in the beginning it a bit rough second the character development is slow in the beginning which causes the MC to be a little flat but it also gets better now that I am done with the cons the pros of this book are that the the author is very active and trys to make it better for everyone another pro is that he definitely loves and is knowledgeable about the show and knows how characters will react and the store for the most part is like the original but in the places that it changed it is well done and thought out. Ps. thanks for writing this book it is a joy to read keep up the good work.

The story is subpar decent however nothing really new happens and its has a very *******ish fan-fic format where in the order : Mc interacts with the pre-existing cast we know and enjoy -> Deals with pre-existing conflits/fights already shown in the story -> train which usually goes in a short time skip and shows the end result i.e mc more broken . So on so forth, Has some harem elements however the MC is not really a huge fan of it so something I respect. No innovative new powers just normal cliche power of the MC ( tbh can't expect much from a fan-fics so its not that bad its not broken broken OP so something I have no problems with it ) But my biggest discomfort? writing quality !! A unoriginal cliche joke can still be exceptionally funny if the presentation is done well . The story lacks the feeling of liveliness and emotional attachments and that the MC is so .... blank despite being a fan-fic where the main attraction is the MC and how we come to relate to him ... It feels like the author is not trying to expand on anything other then what has been told in the anime ( and hell i have not even watched the original yet I can feel it ) expect the parts where the MC conveniently meets like all the RWBY member in like idk 1 year ? how he met one of them that got kidnapped... while in the way to met the other member...and one near his house while they were being chased down... hell even most Chinese MC ain't this freaking lucky. I my self have prior to none knowledge of RWBY except for these fan-fics yet I feel that I my self would have a better bloody reaction than the MC And yes the MC is apparently a huge fan of RWBY and there are some times where be breaking his blank-personality and fanboys about the Cast yet... they feel so half-baked as if they are just monologues to remind the readers that they hold A special role in the story .(which hey I am not complaining about since I can't differentiate between a background character and imp one in this story ) By blank stale/personality I mean he has no set defined personality and more like a personality suited for what every the author wants for the atmosphere/mood of that paragraph, My biggest problem?? the grammar.... sometimes there are basic words like "are" missing.. its as if the author is typing out his mind and then as revision skims through the page and perhaps add some depth to the story... that's how I genially feel like when I read this fanfics.... So basically a NO for me , if the grammar perhaps improves then maybe cause the author has to realized Fan-fics are not a very demanding work compared to writing from scratch as the world , character and plot is pre-established and the reason fan-fics are popular are because people want to see the "what if a different path was taken" so instead of mindlessly writing down what you think and adding nothing new added to story expect for one new character that we feel no attachment .For the story does not feel like its a MC in a anime world but more like a A blank op slate added to the story and this is his perspective.

I beseech thy grace for a mass release for thou has staked my mind for the future to come and prophecy of entertainment of the mind and thrill of the word.