Review Detail of GodKingTurtle in Ryo the illusionist - Naruto fanfiction (Completed)

ok i want to like this novel but the way you make sentences hurts to read the story is nice and all but it moves to fast of a story line i feel you just need to work on the structure needs work like here They have poisoned the food. The clothes. The water. Everything. would it have been better if you put this like this They have poisoned the food. the clothes, the water, everything.