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Miss_Lazy
Miss_LazyLv55yr
2019-06-09 11:07

This is interesting to read. The synopsis alone is an attention seeker in a good way. The plot is different from your typical male dominated novels. Keep it up...

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noctifer
noctiferLv5

I write honest reviews. Hopefully, you can use this to temper your own writing. Writing Quality It's understandable. Lots of grammar mistakes, such as wrong usage of tenses or misspelled words. The syntax isn't as good as it could be, but I'm assuming the author isn't a native English speaker. There isn't a lot of descriptions. At times in the dialogue, the author uses something called the 'talking heads'. This is when two characters have nothing but dialogue, aka, something like this: "Hey." "Hello. How's it going." "I'm good. What about you?" "Good." To solve this, try adding dialogue tags, and actions between every few lines of dialogue, like so: Tang Xiao smirked at the girl in front of her. "So? What can you do about it?" The girl clenched her fists tightly. She glared at Tang Xiao with fire in her eyes, "Just you wait! Tang Xiao, you're not getting away with this!" she spat out, one shaking finger pointing towards Tang Xiao. "Oh, but I already have, darling." Not the best, but something I just came up with on the spot. You get the idea. Some sentences are mere repeats of one another. The character's dialogue sound especially forced, like puppets on a string. Stability Personally, I don't care about stability when reviewing. It's a useless part, so it's an auto 5. Story A decent pace, although a little bit on the faster side. The plot itself was...confusing. Personally, I would not continue reading it because there are no stakes, and Chapter 11 contains a massive wall break and a plot twist. What is the author's end goal in writing this? Trying planning out future arcs, and make a brief outline. We follow the story of Normal - Taro, who's constantly bullied. He transmigrates to Earth, where he can't speak the language. There is light foreshadowing for why he is there - that, I will give the author credit for. But remember, readers are usually here for action. Right now, the whole plot is like a puppet play. Character The only character that stood out was Taro. Even he was still quite one dimensional. My first impression of him was a dull-eyed character with no guts. But of course, this story is still young. Character development is always a thing. None of the other characters really stand out. This is mainly due to the forced dialogue. Create the characters first, author, and let them speak for themselves. Don't make them spew info-dumps. World The world of Wados sounds like one similar to BNHA. There was a brief description at the beginning, but the MC transmigrates soon after so I can't say much. Since I've only read up to chapter 11, this rating is going to be average as I have not seen any effective world building techniques other than the average info-dumps. Try to show the information, not tell it straight away. This will make your novel come alive, and allow the world to have depth. Good luck on your future works! Either way, the concept of this is pretty different from others, as most novels transmigrate into a fantasy world. I hope you can use this advice to improve in the future, and I look forward to seeing where you end up.

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