webnovel
HavenlyJeep
HavenlyJeepLv56yr
2018-09-26 15:41

What in the actual fish am I reading?! Story Premise (3 out of 5): - MC got a system. Got supernatural elements going on. Not much can be said. There's no end goal, or at least, an objective for now. Writing Quality (4 out of 5): - A lot of swearing. I mean, literally every dialogue of the MC has curse words in it. I don't mind but the MC is pretty carefree with his choice of words. Pretty straightforward way of explaining stuff. (Really straightforward). Grammar is alright, but need more more unique vocabulary. Chapter Updates (5 out of 5): - Check the Table of Contents. Story Development (4 out of 5): - Pretty fast-paced, which I like! A lot of leveling up in short amount of chapters. Little has been explained so far aside from playing with the system. (Mana and vampire spotted.) Like I said, a bunch of supernatural stuff put in without much context. Characters (3 out of 5): -Wow. The MC is just straight up hateful. He literally curse everyone that he don't like, or gets a little bit on his nerves. Need to calm down once in a while. A little bit positive sometimes, but a whole lot of negativity on his side. I suggest he get some form of therapy quick. World (3 out of 5): - I don't know where in the world is the MC aside from little description of the surrounding. What is the name of his dorm? How does his class look like? How does his room look like? How old is he? Important Suggestion; - Slow down a bit and describe more of the characters and the surrounding. The MC just love for me to hate him with his . . . interesting choice of words.

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PopcornBro
PopcornBroAuthor

Woah. First of all, Thank you very much for giving up your time to write a critical review for me I found it very insightful. As for what I took from your suggestions, I shall work on these two issues: - Dialing down the on cursing haha, I was kinda going for a slightly sociopathic and derange mc with anger and trust issues. Which shall be explain on a later chap haha -Describing the world more. I thought id be abit too fillerish explaining the environment lol, cuz I for one just straight skip those paragraph and move on to the power up haha. So yeah ill be working on that, ohh and its on a modern day settings btw. Once again man, thanks for taking your time to write me a critical review. I really appreciate it

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