Review Detail of Froschmo in A Chromatic World
Review detail
Hello, Fro here~~~!! At first I though the story was about war between universe, but after I read the summary again, it seems that will happen but lot later in the future chapter. I cant help but wanting to see the war immediately lol, but I guess the story has to explain the background first. Writing quality : good descriptive, and easy to read, just still have grammar mistakes, especially the tenses, you mixed the past tense and present tense in the narrative, better use one of it instead. I will not comment about stability update since I am newcomer in this story. Story development : since chapter hasnt explained from the MC's view, but from other character, story felt like hasnt begin but only just prologue I guess. Somehow I felt the first part about the father isnt important, it will not change much even you erased it. Battle mock between the arthur group as beginning is more interesting. I still didnt understand much about the world mission, but since this is still the beginning, it is alright to make thing misterious and interesting. Character design : I kept mix up between allien and anne lol, because they are similar. But you already did good job for other characters to make little quirk for a beginning story. World development : good imagination, just need more detailed description. Overall this story is great, really interesting ideas, are you gonna make the war? Im really interested about the universe war. just need more grammar correction and character fleshing, then it is great.
A Chromatic World
Vgnette
Liked by 1 people
LIKEReplies2
Thank you for the review!! And yes, the first 6 chapters were a big prologue. From 7 and on will be the real story and will be focused more on the MC. My 'has' and 'had' game is bad T.T disastrous indeed, thank you for noticing it for me. How dare you mixed up my dear Aileen! Haha, joke aside, well it's probably because the way their dialogue was written at first 6 chapters were very similar. Let's just say Aileen is the nervous newbie at the job, and Annie just a cat-eared girl with an extreme shyness disorder. As for the world background, there's still not much going on so, only in certain places would be fleshed out. And for the war, it's still in the early stages, my MC still a baby needs to grow a little bit. But soon, expect massacre, discrimination, and numerous battlefields.
Vgnette:Thank you for the review!! And yes, the first 6 chapters were a big prologue. From 7 and on will be the real story and will be focused more on the MC. My 'has' and 'had' game is bad T.T disastrous indeed, thank you for noticing it for me. How dare you mixed up my dear Aileen! Haha, joke aside, well it's probably because the way their dialogue was written at first 6 chapters were very similar. Let's just say Aileen is the nervous newbie at the job, and Annie just a cat-eared girl with an extreme shyness disorder. As for the world background, there's still not much going on so, only in certain places would be fleshed out. And for the war, it's still in the early stages, my MC still a baby needs to grow a little bit. But soon, expect massacre, discrimination, and numerous battlefields.