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Review Detail of ImBloo in No System? No Problem! (Rebellion Against the Heavenly Fate)

Review detail

ImBloo
ImBlooLv55yrImBloo

Here are some of my impressions of your work. * I find the writing flow quite well. There were a few spelling/grammar errors here and there, but nothing too distracting. * The POV shifts were a bit disorienting. I know that the side characters' actions will eventually affect the MC, but you should restrain yourself, don't let other characters take too much screen time. And try to limit the shifts to at most 3 per chapter. * The tone is rather inconsistent. It was somewhat serious one moment, then shifted to comedy the next, then shifted back to seriousness. The battle between the two old masters in chapter 6 and 7 is an example. Having comedy is okay, but don't overdo it. It might make the scene feel redundant and unimportant. OR, if you've aimed at comedy from the start, then it will be very hard to put in a serious scene.

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No System? No Problem! (Rebellion Against the Heavenly Fate)

Ierrech

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