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Review Detail of qostoq in The Demon Against the Heavens

Review detail

qostoq
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Sir Flow, I have read until chapter 5(included), so this review will be based on your first five chapters. Writing Quality; I didn't come across typing mistakes, but there were a few missing words. There were some unnecessarily wordy sentences, but I have never bothered myself with it when reading. I think sometimes even wordy sentences are necessary. You know better than me, sometimes who have to use that word, and your 'wordies' aren't smirking to the reader when reading. :) There are three more serious points in your chapters(Not in your writing quality). Chapters are toooo long. I picked a random chapter, copied it to the Microsoft word, and it said to me there were more than 2.5k words. That isn't actually a problem, but when combined with your too long paragraphs and unnecessary descriptions, it is deadly serious. With short paragraphs, readers will find it easier to read, and it will help retain them. Readers find novels via phone app and website. If you have large paragraphs, readers will find it harder to keep up/read. You are describing almost everything in a scene. You should categorize them under two subjects. The descriptions readers would care and wouldn't care. 'Forcing myself to read' term comes from these mistakes in my opinion. Considering your writer carrier in Italy, and you having an editor, my rating for you is 3.5/5. Stability of updates; There is nothing to say. You released 86 chaps in just 94 days. It is a 5/5 in my book. Story development; In my opinion, this is the most complicated aspect of a novel when reviewing it. I have read only 5 chapters, some of the authors even reading less when reviewing. We can't know what will happen in the story. I mean we can be suddenly in a reverse corner in the face of an event in the stories development and everything before the event can gain meaning instantly. I'll only judge one point. Why did you put the flashback in the second chapter? And a long flashback at that. You could put it in a later chapter, or you could keep it ******. The sword picked up my interest in the first chapter, and puff! It disappeared in the second chapter. That's why I am giving you 4/5. Character design; Again it is early to judge with only reading 5 chapters. All I can say everything is looking normal in the first five chapters. As long as the characters don't have contradictions in their characters, it is ok. So, 4,5/5. I didn't give 5/5, because they aren't perfect. World background; Some things weren't clear enough, or I couldn't understand. Are they in a game? If not, is he aware of his system? Or is it everyone's system(like a shared interface)? How much mana does Helial have? These kinds of questions kept popping out in my mind. I won't be harsh about world background since it is early for an accurate judgment. 3.5/5 for the world background. P.S; Story is good actually. After reading chap 5, I had the feeling that things will get lively. If the novel didn't have the negative points that I had talked about earlier in this review, I would read it, honestly, despite not having much time after me becoming an author in webnovel. One more thing, Sir Flow had said before, the original story has already reached more than 300 chapter count and it is number one web novel in Italy. I believe your current self is much different from the you from years ago. Keep up the good work :)

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The Demon Against the Heavens

PlainJane_

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