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Review Detail of GM_Serafin in System Programmer

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GM_Serafin
GM_SerafinLv45yrGM_Serafin

A very interesting story so far! I really enjoy the dynamic between the male and female lead. Joshua is a "mad scientist"-type guy who loves tinkering and coming up with all sorts of ideas just for the sake of it; while Catherine is a more down-to-earth, but ambitious person. It's often hard to tell who is the realist or the idealist in this partnership, which only makes it more interesting. It also never feels like one is clearly superior and could work on their own, as they complement each other. Speaking of Joshua, it's rare to find a good web novel where the MC plays a supporting role. Even rarer is an actually interesting plot with some intrigue and nuance rather than a brawl-fest where power trumps all. Catherine is already making progress towards her goals by building allies and thinking about the big picture (while simultaneously trying to deal with a complicated scheme against her), so I hope this carries on. One complaint I have is that Joshua feels like too much of a caricature right now. Sure, he got to say his goodbyes, and I can understand that his eccentricity is also a coping mechanism. Still, the guy died not too long ago and now finds himself in a completely unfamiliar world, forced to fulfill a role he never agreed to. I just can't see him coming to terms with the situation that easily. Plus, he should have unexplored sides to him and room to grow as a person, so I hope to see some development later on to make him more human and interesting. Now comes the elephant in the room: the writing. It's passable for the most part, but the punctuation and paragraph structure need some work. Commas are sometimes abused (or not used when they should be) to make sentences way too long. Combined with the occasional gigantic paragraph, this can make the reading experience very frustrating. They're not too difficult to fix, though: make more liberal use of periods, colons, and semicolons to break things up; and try keeping paragraphs to at most 5-6 lines. All in all, this has some serious potential, so I'm looking forward to the next chapters.

altalt

System Programmer

Joneleth

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ForeverBlank
ForeverBlankLv10ForeverBlank

The ****