Review Detail of Book_Keeper in Sorcha Knight in the City

Hello, your novel has been assessed and review by Virtual Bookshelf. A review excerpt is as follows: Technical: This story’s technical writing is a little less polished than your novel, White Queen Ascending. Dialogue heavy with little description of how people talk, their gestures, actions, thoughts, and emotions. As a romance fiction, interpersonal relationships and inner feeling and thinking is most important. Chapter 7 has world explanation. Ok. Sorcha, Zamir - Okay, so the basic premise is whether they can hook up again and fulfill their promise. Sorcha’s character is expressed the best of the cast. But just like the rest, her motivations and idiosyncrasies in terms of daily thoughts and emotions are absent. Edmund, Rica, Anthony, Aria, Michael, Luke, Ryan, Marion - They are all introduced by chapter 9. This is way too many characters introduced in the beginning, and they have little to differentiate themselves from one another or any clear importance or significance to the plot. Edmund and Sorcha pairing, Luke, Rica - Lacking build up in chapter 23. Ryan and Sorcha - Big brother… Again, lacks build or much reason for attraction. It’s also somewhat disturbing as he’s the teacher.. But it’s reined in, so it’s not of much concern. Aunt Claire, David - They appear basically once and are not mentioned much again until David in chapter 47. Plot: The only real action that occurred throughout these 49 chapters is the Sorcha kidnapping, running, and rescue. Before that, it’s basically her school life with her friends, and they don’t do anything that’s real interesting. The synopsis is interesting, even if the reincarnation and finding an old lover has been done before, but the story only sticks to this in the beginning, and none of the events that follow add any bit to this supposed overarching storyline. If Sorcha remembers her past life, then she isn’t doing anything that’s reminiscent of that life or trying to seek out the people she knew. If she doesn’t remember, then the events themselves should subtly build up to the same premise. .........(cont.) The full review is linked to your title on: https://virtualbookshelf.home.blog/2019/02/02/webnovel-assessments-10/ After three chapters, you may request to be assessed again. Thank you, and the best of luck on your writing endeavors! :)