Review Detail of reb1 in A Journey Through The Worlds

the story focuses on too many perspectives that it's hard to follow the and when you introduce new character should always do it slowly and take time to build up a character or build them up fastly if needed for the character but it has to be in a good aty thats true to the story and the writing a little cliche i feel like you should work more on the the worlds the characters are about to enter because it sets a good precedent for the story when you are always trying do the best you can at explaining the world through action rather than words of explanation cause that just bores the audience the people reading it also you should work on your grammar and sentencing if you want a better story but don't go to over the top with it cause that'll ruin the story just make it whatever's right for that moment and time and what feel right for the characters like dan i feel like the perspective should be be more on him and i don't think it's a great idea to over describe someone's race cause wanna give a person a idea of what this that or who this person is but also let them figure it out as the story goes along plus i felt like you should have made it so dan was kinda like slowly developing into a researcher and discovering things he didn't know and what he does know to people which could be a risky move but will work out if planned right the story plus you transition too much in the story between people's point of views which kinda doesn't help