Review Detail of hawlol in Divine Seal Monarch [Dropped]

Hey man, I like your ideas but not the writing: First: Info dump is a necessary evil, but it's up to the author to make it as painless as possible. In your novel, though, there are unecessary long expositions in the wrong places which drags the pacing and make reading it a little exausting. Ex: long rant about the country and mercenary guilds on chap 11 when no one was going into a guild or dealing with nobles. In was between the end of the training and the conflict with the sect disciples. Ex2: Explanations of several techniques/weapons he wasn't really going to use. Only a quote and ****** explanation would suffice. Try to give only the necessary information for the moment the story is in and also to give room between the expositions with some plot points. There are several techniques and articles on smooth info dump. Look it up. Second: Progression Pacing. Your character is evolving too fast and learning too many things at once. He went from noob to owning sect disciples in less than 10 chaps. Instead of learning one rank of a skill at a time and using it during the story in interesting ways, we have a long training regime exposure and because there are to several ranks of each skill, the reader ends forgeting or not caring about them because it's too much information. Learning one skill and using during the story while evolving it would be far more compeling. Lastly, Characters: He's too lonely. Wilson is there but they barely talk about anything except for the training regime. He wanders and meets strong beasts but instead of learning about them to understand their importance you go on a long info dumb about completely unrelated stuff. The first girl that died was also wasted, it would be far better for her to be a cripple and then be rescued by the MC after coming back to town, or being like a long term mission. It would be good drama and drive for the MC and face slapping to his enemies, while adding another interesting character, but you just killed her off and he'll just never resolve this anguish because, well, she's dead. Hope these points help your future writing. This is not meant at all to discourage you. Cheers! Ps: Check your text editor for bugged auto correct since every single 'their' in your story is spelled 'thier'