Review Detail of Froschmo in Hinder-Rella

Hello, Fro is here~~~!! This story really give me a fairy tale drama vibe haha. It is interesting, cinderela version with more drama and interesting plots. Not really my cup of tea in reading, but it is okay since the story was good. Writing quality : the author has good diction, the writing was easy to read, though sometime the author would make each sentence was too long. Need to shorten that a bit. There is still a bit typo and grammar mistakes, but overall is good. One more thing author, you have a habit to cut scene suddenly without any warn, so I felt a bit stifled when the feeling was building up and then the scene was suddenly cut off. For example in chap 10 I think, you have Eli paid attention at Olivia sweetly, make him corrected her hair style and then saying something sweet, but ended the scene suddenly. So I felt bit annoyed because the scene would become even more sweet if you end it more smoothly. Though in later chapters this habit was reducing, so maybe it was improvement. Story development : there is something that bugged me, because even after 50 chapter, story hasnt mention anything about the legend of four founder (Norell etc) and what they are for since they was only mentioned random once and without any purpose. Also did this story has fantasy genre in it? Because you make the agni has something supernatural, like when loreley said something she has to obey her mother wheter she wanted it or not like her body was controled by witch thing or something. Also, one more thing, I dont know if you are forgot or not, in later chapter loreley mention her mother has been obsessed of avery, stalked him, kill his wife, and plan to get rid of his daughter. But I remember in early chapter, the first time agni heard about olivia was when she fell on laila on cafe. She even saw olivia's photo and ask her people to search olivia background. This prove agni didnt know anything about avery's daughter, when she claimed she hate avery's daughter when she stalked avery in the past, so I hope you fixed them. And second thing was when avery was searching a new wife, is it coincidental that agni's file was on avery's matching document? And robin and amy was the ones collected the file. But loreley claimed that agni has been planning since years ago. Maybe you could smooth these up. Character design : one thing that bugged me a lot is the crying. Your characters were too much a cry baby or maybe emotional, not only the MC. I dont know if it was only my bias. I just bit irritated seeing the character often cry or has their eyes tears up each time some thing happen, even over such a little thing like embarrassed. Another one is about avery, maybe it was because he was manipulated by agni, but when the first time avery angry at olivia (forgot what chap) when olivia was just being attacked and accused agni as preparator to her father. I think her father reaction is too extreme, he even insult sarcastically at his own daughter who was in this story his only baby even since his was died. To insult her like that when he though she was throwing tantrum was too extreme I think. Another one is about Eli, there was a bit disparity about his character when the first time he showed up and his character in the next chapter. He was cold, only like to reading and ignore everyone. But when he apologized at olivia the next day, I think his image suddenly fell down. Maybe it was just my bias toward a cold type lol. But I just felt strange seeing him acting so shy and timid next. Felt so ooc hahah. Well overall, other than the ones I mentioned above, all the character is good and OC enough. World development : it was interesting seeing a noble like world with modern setting (phone and so on.) maybe you could try to explain the world more, like the country etc Well, I think enough of my rambling, I dont want to bore you with my nonsense garbage lol, you did a good job with this story. Keeo your hard work!!