Review Detail of LordSputnik in Duality
Review detail
In a nutshell, it is fairly enjoyable! I'm not a fan of plot armor but I also understand that it is needed sometimes. I can tell your writing did start to improve later, hope you continue to grow as an author! Maybe I missed the part where is said John was black, but the black protagonist tag seemed odd when the guy on the cover looks white. As for Dene, her backstory felt very lengthy and probably could've been shortened up a bit. Other than that, I like where this is going and wish the release rate was better.
Duality
JohnnyKbca
Liked by 1 people
LIKEReplies1
Thanks for the review. The part about John being black was actually my fault, as he was always meant to be mixed race. I'm mixed race myself but I don't look white at all, and so this notion carried over to how I see the MC. In the cover John does lean more on the white side than I imagined, but not really white. As for the Dene's backstory being lengthy, that's an understatement. By the end of it I had written more about her than the MC himself. I originally planned for it to be 2 or 3 chapters long, but failed miserably. If I were to rewrite it today, then I would summarize it to one single chapter, but keep what I already wrote for another story focused solely on Dene and Jonathan. And finally, the release rate will improve once I graduate from college (hopefully one day). Until then, thanks for sticking with the story and thanks once again for the review.