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Review Detail of JA_Anton in Duality

Review detail

JA_Anton
JA_AntonLv35yrJA_Anton

It seems the reincarnation plot is really quite popular these days :) Nothing against it though, and I must say this story mixes reincarnation with action and magic quite well. The idea of the 'awakening' is also a good addition. The premise of the novel, with the warrior levels and all, reminds me so much of an RPG game. The thing I liked the most about the story is the fact that the MC can kill. He's not one of those *****, pacifist MCs that could not strike a finishing blow due to morals and all. The development in John's abilities (the second life one) is also believable. He did train and wasn't just automatically strong without doing nothing. I find John really likable whether the past or the reincarnated him. I do have a few suggestions, and some issues I noticed (Please note that these are just my take. Feel free to use or ignore my comments as you see fit) The pacing of the story is okay since the author managed to show John's improvement as a warrior. However, I'm not fond of the way the author explained a lot of technicalities of the world in dialogues (during John's training with his mother). It was a lot of info to take in at once. Also, I don't have anything against third person omniscient POVS. But I don't think the POV of certain characters had to be included--specifically, those who eventually died a few paragraphs after their introduction. It just broke the flow of the narrative a bit for me. Writing-wise, I noticed a few minor grammar errors and some odd phrasings. Moreover, I think the author should check for some redundant statements. For instance: 'His plan was to find an opportunity to poison Verich.' I think this sentence is no longer necessary. It was already implied by the sentences that followed. Lastly, the author should also look into dialogue formatting. A comma follows a dialogue tag when writing statements. For the world background, I already have a good idea of the first world (John's first life with hints of military and CIA and all). But the fantasy world is still a bit vague for me. Beyond John and his mother, the forest and their house, I can't say much yet. To be fair, the novel is still ongoing, so perhaps the author would add more details in the next installments. Overall, this story has a good plot and an intriguing lead character. I did enjoy reading this, and I'm looking forward to how the story will progress in the next chapters.

altalt

Duality

JohnnyKbca

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Replies3

JA_Anton
JA_AntonLv3JA_Anton

And again the site sensored a word I use...I'm not even sure what word it is but pretty sure it's not a curse haha :) Sorry about that.

JohnnyKbca
JohnnyKbcaAuthorJohnnyKbca

Took a quick look into dialogue formatting. Now i know why grammarly would place conmas intead of periods sometimes. Thanks.

JA_Anton
JA_AntonLv3JA_Anton

You're welcome :)

JohnnyKbca:Took a quick look into dialogue formatting. Now i know why grammarly would place conmas intead of periods sometimes. Thanks.