Review Detail of Dr_Zombie in my dream game

Writing Style (2): Not really a fan of the style. Seems to be some kind of chat style? You are unable to tell whether the MC is talking, thinking or doing something. You should try the traditional approach of writing with speech marks and proper descriptions, etc. Stability of Updates (3): I'll default to three stars, as currently, you have just started out. So I can't really judge it. Story Development (2): Not much has happened so far, but there is no backstory either. You just jump the reader into the unknown. Other than the fact that we know he is going into a game world... Character Design (1): Pretty much non-existent. Main Character is just aptly named... Main Character... Needs more work. World Background (1): Non-Existent (See Story Development) Overall (1.8): Needs more work. Flesh out your characters, background, and also work on your writing style. Might turn out to be a good novel in the future, so I will keep an eye on it.