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Gt_Prince
Gt_PrinceLv66yr
2018-06-13 07:54

change nothing everything is awesome so far plot, pace,character development ,new character introduction,back story while keeping us from anticipating what's next to come just love it my power stone from every day will be here now

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AzureWolf
AzureWolfLv5

Ok I have read enough to Understand what kind of MC the author is trying to make from this line in Chap 23 "I'm no hero but as long as I see something I don't agree with, I won't hesitate to do what's required of me!". The author is trying to make his MC a saint. but all i seen so far as soon as he arrived at the town is to attempt to kill a couple of marines doing their job so they can feed them selves or family. Their job was to capture fugitives which by standard are extremely dangerous to the public. he helped the other 3 girls escape and saved the one that was captured. he then says hes not a hero and will kill people he don't agree with. Author from what i understand you are trying to make a MC that is purely evil in nature but only show his good guy act to close ones or to the ones he wants to use (white haired girl). If by chance he makes his way to that toy island. by your standard he will kill everyone that is living there. When you first showed the marines you portrayed them as rapists licking their lips and making them say they'll have fun with them...uhh? what... please don't stick chinese tropes into a novel like this. Yes in the anime they were subtle, hardly noticeable and far in between. I will still continue to read this. The MC is just very poorly one sided still. Author stop trying to make your MC the good guy here you are clearly making him to be a cold blooded killer but shadowing it by friendship and happiness when he sees his friends. Also justifying his killing is also dumb so don't try that. there are more perspectives then just the MC try to think what others would think. that's what makes a novel more interesting and complex. Example would be the marine that he killed could have a family and is just trying to feed them by doing his job, However, your MC killed him for no reason other then to say I'm stronger so killing is justified. Knocking the marine out would be the best approach in this situation. You are clearly trying to make the MC infamous early for killing people when this is a very stupid move to make if you have a brain.

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