HewhoseekstruthLv46yr

2018-08-28 19:45

Hah... So much I want to say... I suppose I will start with the judgements first. Writing quality, given a five due to the fact that out of all the chapters so far, I've barely seen any mistake, and if I did see any, they were so minor I barely remembered them, your novel has done something the likes of Er Gen has done for me, along with some other famous books and recently a few other promising writers, you've allowed me to see the story. I liken stories to a painting, one made by a four year old, you'll know what the picture is about... vaguely, then you have your teenager, probably taken a few art classes, knows how to draw, dabbles in it, you'll know what they are painting, but you then shrug it off and probably forget about it soon afterwards. Then you have those who dedicate their lives to it, study it, grow with it, and then you can see the entire picture. That is how I read stories, and what you've painted what might not be a masterpiece, but it requires admiration, and seeing what you've done from your other story by reading the comments, you've grown. stability... tough one, I've only picked up your story today, but considering I found this in the daily updates category, I'll give you a five out of my heart, and hope when you resume your other story, you don't forget about this one. Story development, no brainer, it's a five, i've talked a bit on this with the writing quality, so this should be shorter. While the story may be rushed compared to bigger novels that take 200 chapters to even go through one stage, obviously both are geniuses in their own rights, and obviously this won't turn into a mega series. so the pacing is pretty on point, not too quickly, not too slow. character development, this is obviously where the spoiler's start coming in, so if you haven't read the book yet, I suggest you take this novel's rating at face value and read it. now obviously another five, there's a pattern here, isn't there? Anyways, Mao Lu, obviously, in the beginning, he seems perfect, too perfect, we learn he's gay (sorry boys, he's already taken, by someone much more perfect than you), that's acceptable, then we learn he's from a wealthy family, sorry, ex-wealthy family, he's just perfect, isn't he? well, he's got his own insecurities, he relies too much on himself, to the point where sometimes his friends need to go out of their way to help him. I'm also no doctor, but I'm pretty sure he's overworked, and fatigued, to the point in which he almost makes some bad decisions. obviously these are all things to overcome. Now, onto Chang Bo, obviously the MC in his own right, he's got it all, good talents, boosted by a system, enemies on all sides. Struck down and brought to the mortal world by a poison. this should be where he encounters a mortal who nurses him back to health, or a lucky encounter happens... He meets our lovable protagonist. Arrogant, on his last breath and sure of his demise, he curses him, spits on him, and our MC does nothing, but keeps calm, and heals him, and prepares to listen to his story. I've blabbed enough about the story so I'll get right to the end, Chang Bo is your typical rich kid, conceited due to his status, unable to make friends for the same reason, wary of all, and the MC melts his heart, slowly but surely, wouldn't be yaoi if it didn't happen. world background, five stars, easy to understand, given in tidbits, and left wanting for more... This was probably my shortest section. Now onto everything I want to say, you've worked hard, displayed talent, perseverence, and commitment, I applaud you, and shall be supporting you. This story is great, everything somebody is looking for when you say yaoi, I've left out a lot of what I truly wish to say, which could go past ten thousand words, but I must keep it short, I suppose I shall part with these words of wisdom, Mao Lu... I am so jealous...

A Gatekeeper and The Celestial Sovereign

M_Lexi

4.7

102 Chs