Review Detail of yuhyeenie in Cleaning Up The Future

Hi there! Just here to give you some reviews :) Hope you don't take my review negatively if ever it creates an impact on you. To be honest, I like how you go through with your narration, its like written by an experienced writer (are you?). There are some minor issues with your grammar like in your first chapter, 'A shrill insane voice screams from quite a distance away, but the horrifying effect of the voice does nothing to the hundred or so other poorly-dressed figures around him. ' the part ' A shrill insane voice screams...' you could just modify it a bit like, 'Insane-like shrills and screams..' to me it sounds really disturbing because you are putting too much adjectives just to describe, keeping it ****** and short is needed sometimes. 'but the horrifying effect of the voice does nothing to the hundred or so other poorly-dressed figures around him.' ill try to edit this part because I cannot explain on what to do on this part. 'but the voice that emitted a horrifying effect doesn't affect a hundred (or so) poorly-dressed figures surrounding him.' This is the only thing I could give as an example.. I hope you wont take this as an offensive review :) P.S I love the idea you put in your story...