Review Detail of Shakin_Bacon in A Twist that Lead to the Fall

From the first chapter I can see that you have a good idea in mind as to where the story will go, good job! The story development and character design is solid, especially for the first chapter. The only problem I can find is the problem that most original novels have on Qidian, the problem of correct paragraph spacing. The paragraphs should be spaced out more, to let the reader take in and be able to process the information that they are given, rather than dumping it all on them at once. I hope you keep uploading chapters though, as it has a good premise. I will be adding this one to my library. Congratulations if this is your first novel! Lets hope it doesn't 'fall'.