Review Detail of SweetsTomato in What in this world! Oh... Wait a minute. It's another world.

First, i'm not English native speaker nor language expert, so i will not talking much about grammar or structure, well, there's some typo thou. From reading your novel, i think you're an author who love to use, in my term 'flowery words' like to write 'the sun is rise', you will write it as ' a giant ball of fire rise in east horizon shine its rays brilliantly' nothing wrong with that since it's your style, make your novel have its uniqueness. second, you like to make a long chapter, which not my preferences. i guess its more than 2k words each chapter? makes it rather difficult to catch the main idea in that chapter