Review Detail of Hyowha in What in this world! Oh... Wait a minute. It's another world.
Review detail
This review is based on 5 chaps, but I know for a fact that it gets a lot better Constructive criticism: Try learnung more about your style. As it stands, the story reads like a diary or a operation log. Work with rethoric, such as methaphors, similes, alliterations etc. Work with narration, such as MCs thoughts, and his actions on others and why he does such a thing. Try to reimagine yourself as all the character and immerse yourself in them. What I like: A lot actually. It takes an overdone setting and spins it unto a new direction. I like the PoV and si like the worldbuilding. Just from the 5 chaps anyone can see that the author follows a plan and is not writing arbitrarly
What in this world! Oh... Wait a minute. It's another world.
DeJeL
Liked it!
LIKEReplies1
lol, I laugh at "Just from the 5 chaps anyone can see that the author follows a plan and is not writing arbitrarly" 'cause the only plan I have is to follow my main plot, but how I get from point A to point Z is anyone's guess, I don't even know where point B-Y are.;,;.... also as far as "As it stands, the story reads like a diary or a operation log." umm. only read between the asterisks if you are okay with a small spoiler... *The story is Dawson writing a diary and then trying to convert it into a book, how successful he was is left for your interpretation* so yah, that's to be expected. Anyway, thanks for the honest review... and if you are willing, reply with how you scored me in each aria so I know where to improve.;,;.