Review Detail of WinterBud in What in this world! Oh... Wait a minute. It's another world.

Constructive criticism: I'm not going to go into the writing style and presentation because everyone else pointed them out already (if you could do it soon, set aside time to apply those great pointers). You have good ideas going, they're obviously going to keep coming, but you are too focused on simply dumping them out. Please take time to think about how you're going to show it to readers in a way that they'll find easy to take in and digest. Please also shift your focus away from getting new readers and think more deeply about how you could get repeat customers.