Review Detail of Reinesse in What in this world! Oh... Wait a minute. It's another world.
Review detail
I'm not good with plots, but in terms of writing quality, I can judge. 1. There are grammatical errors than can confuse readers. The tenses and misplaced modifiers for example. 2. Your paragraphs are too long, it can be separated. 3. You are too abrupt in changing scenes, I see no transitions. I am not an expert and I can't see through all your errors but i hoped this helped you.
What in this world! Oh... Wait a minute. It's another world.
DeJeL
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I'll respond in kind: 1. Yah, I really need an editor... I don't even notice tense issues even in other's novels... And what are modifiers again? 2. Look at chapter 5, does that work for you? If so, then you are just telling me what everyone else has, but I will tell you the same... It is a plot feature. 3. I get better in later chapters, but yes, that is just my writing style... if you can't handle it, then I suggest reading another work, since it's not just that I don't know how, It's that I don't care to change it.;,;. Anyway, I thank you for the honest feedback.;,;. I can guess from exactly how you judged my novel, that you will not be continuing it... maybe you can check out my other novels... one is not even a story, just a bunch of poems... and the other is not written by me... just posted by me.;,;. Anyway, Have a nice day.;,;.
by transitions, i actually meant something like: in the meantime, on the other hand, on contrast, aside from.. etc.
DeJeL:I'll respond in kind: 1. Yah, I really need an editor... I don't even notice tense issues even in other's novels... And what are modifiers again? 2. Look at chapter 5, does that work for you? If so, then you are just telling me what everyone else has, but I will tell you the same... It is a plot feature. 3. I get better in later chapters, but yes, that is just my writing style... if you can't handle it, then I suggest reading another work, since it's not just that I don't know how, It's that I don't care to change it.;,;. Anyway, I thank you for the honest feedback.;,;. I can guess from exactly how you judged my novel, that you will not be continuing it... maybe you can check out my other novels... one is not even a story, just a bunch of poems... and the other is not written by me... just posted by me.;,;. Anyway, Have a nice day.;,;.
Okay, so you meant the smaller transitions rather than the major ones? If so, It just flows too well in my head for me to notice... hence why I need an editor.;,;.
Reinesse:by transitions, i actually meant something like: in the meantime, on the other hand, on contrast, aside from.. etc.