webnovel
handsome_lord
handsome_lordLv56yr
2018-06-24 10:20

I kinda like the story especially the genre . I AM just a little disappointed with the writing style because i somehow see that this is like being treated like a wattpad which makes the story somehow messy. (As someone from the field of literature which i dont brag) i advise that just make it 3rd person POV because creating different POVs just makes it messy..... Pure story doesnt need difderent POVs it is only very useful if you want this to become movie but even movies needs a story which is in 3rd person POV and the job is given to their own writers to create different POVs... I hope thay the next chapters will be written as I advise.. You can also read other novels in the webnovel (especially the top rankings) you can observe the way they are writing it... how the events are areanged logically.

Law of Creation

FrostDream193
4.1
172 Chs

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
Replies4
FrostDream193
FrostDream193Author

Haha, sorry for the mess *scratch the back of my head* Thanks for the suggestion, I will keep it in my mind :D

6yr
2
handsome_lord
handsome_lordLv5

Hahaha very good.. i thought you are ofended on my comment.. you know, i once commented to an author with very unpleasing personality and he erased his story... all readers complains about his social decorum.. Thats very good of yours becaise you are very humble. Keep making stories and improving your worms and you will have a bright future

FrostDream193:Haha, sorry for the mess *scratch the back of my head* Thanks for the suggestion, I will keep it in my mind :D
6yr
1
handsome_lord
handsome_lordLv5

I mean works not worms

6yr
2
FrostDream193
FrostDream193Author

What? is there such drama? Lol... It's fine, i am easy going haha. i believe it is good to have some constructive pointer rather than trash-talking, wasting time and it will not improve my experience as writer hehehe Yeah, thanks :D

handsome_lord:Hahaha very good.. i thought you are ofended on my comment.. you know, i once commented to an author with very unpleasing personality and he erased his story... all readers complains about his social decorum.. Thats very good of yours becaise you are very humble. Keep making stories and improving your worms and you will have a bright future
6yr
Other Reviews
FrostDream193
FrostDream193Author

I am sorry for Dao friends here, there is something bad happen. It's not very bad, it is just something annoying, there is a bug on inkstone platform. If you are reading this, that means you are lucky. # skip # chapter # 2 # and # 3 Make it simple, the posted chapter 2 and 3 should be chapter 6 and 7. Thanks to law of bug, those new chapter is inserted between chapter 2 and 3 Even if I have delete those bugged chapter and reupload it, as you can see on table of content. Once again i repeat my message, skip chapter 2 and 3!

6yr

FrostDream193
FrostDream193Author

I am sorry to fill the review pages for a little information. 1. since posting a little announcement was a little hassle in the review area, i will post them in the synopsis area. 2. I will readjust the released chapter into 10 chapter a week, maybe sometime less thank to RL. But don't worry, each chapter would definitely above 1k words 3. After the end of this arc (maybe every time an arc is finished), I will readjust all of the posted chapter. There are some point that needs to be reedit, like grammars, tenses (my mortal enemy), writing style, and maybe i will readjust the story narration here. 4. And thank you for all of your support :D 5. Let me be shameless this time and give myself a full 5 score XD

6yr
sunofthebeach
sunofthebeachLv12

Okay, overall the improvement of the story is good. Writing quality is not the best, but much better than before. If i have to point out something, please give us more action lol

6yr
painintheash
painintheashLv5

The story have a slow pace Fortunately currently author is posting a few chapters in a day. Maybe author should post a few chapter in a day until it has a stable storyline? I mean something like fighting, or fighting, or maybe fighting. And the synopsis is not too long, and there is no many spoiler from it. Well to tell the truth I am more interested in novel with synopsis like that lolololol Wel currently that is my review. Currently chapter 5, after maybe around tenth or twentieth chapter, I will give more review.

6yr
ThousandHeavens
ThousandHeavensLv5

This story is good, the MC isn't op at all, I felt pity for the MC when I read chapter 43, plz update quickly 140characters140characters140characters140characters

6yr
Neroco
NerocoLv11

The first thing that attracts ppl to the story is Loli in summery XD but it's a nice story however with an interesting style which is fun to read in free times

6yr
DeepintheSea
DeepintheSeaLv5

Reveal spoiler

6yr
Nekros
NekrosLv5

Decent and different from a lot of other novels which only consists of cultivation. 😁 Keep up the good work. I will help you edit the chapters just dont know where to send the edited chapters :)

6yr
Ink_Fish
Ink_FishLv15

Interesting world and concept. However, the writing makes it difficult to enjoy with some confused writing in some places. Makes it hard to understand what is going on in some places. Especially with the alternating view points where it shifts randomly.

6yr
Mistborn
MistbornLv10

Having caught up with latest chapter I just had to give a second review I hate the fact that , at least for me, this novel which started as such a charming and cute story, has changed into something infuriating with abundant signs of loathsome tropes seen in some other novels. The author has every right to write whatever kind of novel she wants obviously,but this definitely ain’t for me. Everything took a nosedive from chapter 78 onwards. Annoying women and pusxy whipped men,plus the main character herself has become too annoying for me and I only see things worsening as story progresses. Currently author seems preoccupied with RL issues and I hope things work out on her and and I wish her success. I know some people will like this but I’m gonna have to drop this. Alas, had such potential pre 78

6yr
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