Review Detail of TaiCena in Technomancer: Genesis
Review detail
One of the most infuriating things for me is that the MC is portrayed as an expert in a field but then portrayed as lacking on said field. There are multiple instances of this but I'm going to cite the worst offenders. One is that he doesn't know binary star system exist. He mentions that seeing more than one sun will blow his mind as it was not possible normally. His insistence on the impossibility of creating matter with magic due to the laws of thermodynamics is really not a characteristic of a good scientist, unless author is portraying him as a ****ty scientist. Established conceps were debunked by new discoveries in history. The MC should at least know that, and not do what he just did. So if we use the MC as an average scientist, in the near future if we observe something travel faster than the speed of light, are they going to just cry that it is impossible and ignore it? You portrayed the MC as a particle physicist as he was working on the higgs boson on the LHC. Please at least depict him as such. At the latest chapters, please explain how he was able to measure everything that he was able to. Don't just say magic, explain how with magic. For example, is his measurement of distance as precise as a ruler or as the planck constant? How was he able to do these measurements? Look, I really want this novel to succeed, just please do your research.
Technomancer: Genesis
earldennison
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1. About the binary star systems. Of course he would know that some thing like that exists but you should know that binary systems are the least likely to support life in such a familiar way with humans in it. If you were born somewhere where everything stayed almost exaxtly the same except for one thing what would be your reaction? We know that there is only a certain zone where life can be suppoeted and that a singular star system will most likely be able to support something like ours 2. Mc is designed to be stubborn and rigid and is designed to grow. 3. Its not the planck constant. It has something to do with his vision and prior knowledge when he was on earth. 4. The higgs field is actually the thing that hinders matter form traveling at the speed of light.
I will quote to you the passage you are reffering to: "The sky very much looked like earth's, with just one sun and one moon. He sighed at this sight, as Ezra thought he would have a mental breakdown if he had seen another thing that was out of his expectations. He would understand it if there were multiple moons but if there were two suns that would blow his mind. It seemed that for the most part, gravitational forces in this universe seemed to be the same" Does it say that it was impossible or does it say that it was out of expectations?
Oh and another note. I intentionally did not fully explain why he can measure things as such. For now he at least knows that he can. If you read closely he said that it was an epiphany whilst practicing magic. So from there you could understand why it was not fully explained. There are many things that an individual can do that they themselves cannot fully understand.
Based from that quote, although technically it is not said that way, it gives an impression that a change in gravitational laws will be the reason for the existence of binary systems. I think you didn't meant to say that but a little edit can work wonders. It is a jump in logic by a reader but it can happen.
earldennison:I will quote to you the passage you are reffering to: "The sky very much looked like earth's, with just one sun and one moon. He sighed at this sight, as Ezra thought he would have a mental breakdown if he had seen another thing that was out of his expectations. He would understand it if there were multiple moons but if there were two suns that would blow his mind. It seemed that for the most part, gravitational forces in this universe seemed to be the same" Does it say that it was impossible or does it say that it was out of expectations?
Like my original review, I said that you might have meant for him to be depicted as a ****ty scientist at the start. I like the concept of him growing from there. That can make a great story. I was just worried that you are trying to depict him as this uber amazing scientist but yeah I'm glad that's cleared out
earldennison:Also just because that you have an idea what an Ideal scientist should be does not mean all good scientist have the same character. Some of them are pretty stubborn. Especially if you are playing board games with them lol
And yeah, I'm sorry about this review, but I am invested already in this novel and I want it to improve. Just letting you know that I am looking forward to where this story is going.
earldennison:1. About the binary star systems. Of course he would know that some thing like that exists but you should know that binary systems are the least likely to support life in such a familiar way with humans in it. If you were born somewhere where everything stayed almost exaxtly the same except for one thing what would be your reaction? We know that there is only a certain zone where life can be suppoeted and that a singular star system will most likely be able to support something like ours 2. Mc is designed to be stubborn and rigid and is designed to grow. 3. Its not the planck constant. It has something to do with his vision and prior knowledge when he was on earth. 4. The higgs field is actually the thing that hinders matter form traveling at the speed of light.
Yeah that is quite bad writting on my part I have to admit. You see as soon as I finish a chap I publish it as you might see that this is a poorly edited work.
TaiCena:Based from that quote, although technically it is not said that way, it gives an impression that a change in gravitational laws will be the reason for the existence of binary systems. I think you didn't meant to say that but a little edit can work wonders. It is a jump in logic by a reader but it can happen.
TaiCena:And yeah, I'm sorry about this review, but I am invested already in this novel and I want it to improve. Just letting you know that I am looking forward to where this story is going.
earldennison:Could yoi please also reword your review if possible since your concern was addressed? Thanks a bunch
First and foremost, it doesn’t come as a surprise that there are thing that he does not know after all what science knows today is not everything. His not supposed to be know astrophysics. Seacondly, when Einstein heard about quantum physics he refused to believe that the changes in our universe happen randomly. Therefore, he adamantly tried to prove against it. It goes to show that there have been and probably always will be scientists who are hesitant in going along some theories. In my opinion, the author did a good job portraying does parts.
About your first point. Even I knew about binary systems, and I am not a scientist, not even close. I am currently studying medicine, so my field is not close. Your second point, that story is part of what I mean in what I was saying. The MC should have known that story as well, among other things, and reacted accordingly. But don't worry, go read my conversation with the author, and how it is already resolved. Best wishes to both of you.
FiendStar:First and foremost, it doesn’t come as a surprise that there are thing that he does not know after all what science knows today is not everything. His not supposed to be know astrophysics. Seacondly, when Einstein heard about quantum physics he refused to believe that the changes in our universe happen randomly. Therefore, he adamantly tried to prove against it. It goes to show that there have been and probably always will be scientists who are hesitant in going along some theories. In my opinion, the author did a good job portraying does parts.
It's all right. I'm partially at fault. I should have gotten my book proof read by my physicist friend. Its just that people want me to pump out chapters. For the time being I won't add anything related to science unless I am pretty sure about the content and until my friend comes back from overseas to look at the incongruities of my content.
FiendStar:First and foremost, it doesn’t come as a surprise that there are thing that he does not know after all what science knows today is not everything. His not supposed to be know astrophysics. Seacondly, when Einstein heard about quantum physics he refused to believe that the changes in our universe happen randomly. Therefore, he adamantly tried to prove against it. It goes to show that there have been and probably always will be scientists who are hesitant in going along some theories. In my opinion, the author did a good job portraying does parts.
Author, You should go read release the witch... The mc is not a scientist but his actions are much more professional in scientific ways when confronted by unexplainable stuffs....
earldennison:1. About the binary star systems. Of course he would know that some thing like that exists but you should know that binary systems are the least likely to support life in such a familiar way with humans in it. If you were born somewhere where everything stayed almost exaxtly the same except for one thing what would be your reaction? We know that there is only a certain zone where life can be suppoeted and that a singular star system will most likely be able to support something like ours 2. Mc is designed to be stubborn and rigid and is designed to grow. 3. Its not the planck constant. It has something to do with his vision and prior knowledge when he was on earth. 4. The higgs field is actually the thing that hinders matter form traveling at the speed of light.