webnovel
afanficaddict
afanficaddictLv46yr
2018-05-14 21:48

So far, the writing quality has been great. No grammatical errors (or at least, not noticeable), which is a big plus. It also made reading the story much more enjoyable. However, there is still room for improvement, especially with the fight scenes. So far, the plot has been very interesting, and the logical nature of the MC very entertaining. The application of the concept of magical realism has been applied in a logical manner so far, so keep it up!

Liked by 6 people

LIKE
Replies1
earldennison
earldennisonAuthor

Thank you for your kind words good sir. I edit them as I notice them(the grammatical errors of course). I am somewhat proficient in English though I am far from being an expert. This is my first ever novel, I normally write poems, and I do admit I have trouble penning the fight scenes. Could you point out the specifics so that I could improve the fight scenes next time? There will be plenty of them peppered throughout the novel.

Other Reviews
Treviisolion
TreviisolionLv10

To be strictly honest, this novel is still quite new so I’m not certain how things will shape up in the future but so far it seems that the MC acts in a fairly reasonable way. He doesn’t let his emotions govern his actions like many novel MCs do, but neither is he a perfect logical thinking machine. Some people have critized that he doesn’t think enough like a scientist, I have to disagree. He conducts tests and tries different hypotheses, the disagreement comes in his resolution in sticking with the laws of physics as he knows them. Of course a truly scientific method is to always question everything, but scientists have always held key fundamental assumptions. Getting scientists to change these assumptions has always been a difficult task. In order to do so you first have to propose an alternative assumption, a task that requires thinking of the world in an entirely new way and then once you have familiarized yourself in thinking that way, you have to create all the new laws based upon the alternate assumption to be able to explain everything the old model could. Then you need to analyze the two models and determine what differences would arise depending on which one was accurate, create the experiments, and do the tests. And only after all this has been verified would scientists decide to change their worldview. In general it is much easier to explain a new phenomenon using the backing of your current knowledge than it is to rewrite your entire understanding of the laws to accomodate the new phenomenon. The former is what most scientists do, the latter is what revolutionary scientists such as Einstein do. The MC is essentially being asked (by himself mainly as he is driven by a thirst for knowledge) to either rectify the seeming violation of the laws of physics by the magic system, when he is stuck with the body and parental restrictions of a baby/toddler where so far he can’t use magic as anything more than an enhanced endo-skelton suit and advanced sensory/calculating device, or to try and figure out the laws of physics from scratch, by himself. Also, side note, none of the statements he’s made are scientifically inaccurate. You might have seen a previous comment on a binary star, please read the replies to that, he’s not saying binary star systems don’t exist, but that binary star system worlds would not behave like Earth (and they wouldn’t). As for the actual novel, there definitely seems to be quite a bit of worldbuilding with plenty of details that are relevant, but the main mysteries are much slower going and look like they will take some time before the MC is able to find the answers, mainly as they are mysteries to most everyone. The MC is a bit overpowered, but compared to most on Quidian, it’s not that bad and even with his super baby magic might, he still prefers to use his analytical skills to win a fight than an explosion of power, plus with his current restriction that prevents him from actually casting spells, he does tend to come up with more interesting solutions than just swing sword super fast and sharp. The only thing that strikes me as odd (though still reasonable) is why he is keeping his reincarnation a secret when all his other capabilities (such as talking at several weeks old) get exposed fairly easily. All in all though this novel has some great potential, there are some spelling/grammatical mistakes here and there, I personally don’t find them problematic (especially as I get to read this novel for free), but grammar nazis you have been warned. Right now I could see this novel going several directions, it could go the route of RTW once he feels he is old enough to start industrializing (the MC has some ideas of doing this), it could go the Wuxia route (he is strong enough and with his understanding of physics could likely be a powerful magic user, but the author states he doesn’t want to go that route), or something different where the novel mainly focuses on the MCs quest to understand the world, with his self-improvement and industrialization attempts being mainly ways to allow himself to further pursue his goals of exploring and learning about the world (my personal prediction for the direction this novel will go).

TheWiseOldMan
TheWiseOldManLv10

As requested in Chapter 129, this Old Man shall write you a review. I have been watching and reading this for a while and now I feel I shall share my two cents. If you don’t want a review but those quick ratings, just scroll to the bottom for my scores. The story the author has brought to us is a tale of reincarnation, magical combat, and kingdom building. It’s refreshing in the wake of not being half-baked. There is world building and behind the scenes hints of a developed and thought out main plot line. As far as web novels go, there is a nice cast of characters that are beyond the standard cardboard cutout that so plagues web novels in general. Reincarnation aside, the first volume of his ‘infantile mischief’ was different and amusing. I find the MC witty, smart, and full of potential. The beginning introduction background of him is a mixture of interesting and necessary. If you have read other reviews that spoil some of the intro, you’ll see some lambasting the author for not ‘science-ing correctly.’ To those I ask, pray tell what is the most correct theory, the least contentious, i.e., one that won’t cause someone to disagree. The answer is none, you can’t please everyone. If anything I look at the whole former emotionless physicist background as one that justifies the characters growth, setbacks, and knowledge. I’m not looking at it as fact, right or wrong, nor should I jump upon the author for a characters thoughts that probably are not the author’s. It’s not always a reflection you know. I’m looking for the story element and it is decent. Their is great potential for this novel, and I feel some early reviews are not justifiable in their non-constructive remarks. Having also been on the scene of web novels for years and translated web novels as well. I have seen grammar that has your eyes see colors, causes your brain to malfunction, and your mouth to say “WTF.” The only issues in grammar I see are commas placed wrongly or unnecessarily, and the few sentences with some words misplaced. For someone without an editor, it’s good enough and is not on the scale of ruining immersion. As you can likely see already, I favor commas too much as well. Good things said, let’s speak of updates. ‘Aye, there’s the rub.’ I will say my score is being nice at 2 stars. Their is certainly a priority of education for the author’s own life and that is understandable. I daresay, they don’t see this as a main source of income, nor perhaps are motivated by monetary means to pump out chapters. That aside, if one wishes to garner attention and more readers, a stable update time with minimal deviation is key. I’m not asking for more chapters for selfish reasons, but stating the obvious that for this platform, stability of updates will get you more readers than if the work is actually good, passable, or just not at all. Let me direct you to those 14chp release nonsense translations you see in the powerstone rankings. I can name a few that are utter trope tripe. This last and final tidbit is more opinionated, but please consider making the chapters at least 2k word count. Often the 2.5k count to the high 4K is a more pleasurable read. Again though, if that is asking a bit much, consider more releases of shorter chapters. Also please make sure to update your synopsis disclaimer. Writing 4.4/5 - Seen much worse, needs proofing, good Story development 4.7/5 - good but updates hamper it World building 5/5 - The map shows dedication, good lore Characters 4.8/5 - Some supporters need more shine Updates 2/5 - Fix this and you’ll gain for sure

Randominity
RandominityLv4

WRITING QUALITY The writing is readable enough but still needs work. Lots of misplaced commas/semicolons dot the thing. Chapter-to-chapter quality is inconsistent as well. (BTW, you can spare me the "it's not yet edited" spiel; as I note below I can see the disclaimer just fine. It's nice to include but it doesn't at all excuse the mistakes.) STABILITY OF UPDATES Updates regularly enough for a good score here. Not much else to say here. STORY DEVELOPMENT/CHARACTER DESIGN/WORLD BACKGROUND These are intertwined, so I'll tackle them together. Let's talk about the first place you're selling your story: the synopsis. 3/4 of the thing is disclaimer, for one thing, which means I've learned almost jack crap about what to actually expect story-wise. For another, pick either "photographic memory" or "eidetic memory"; either you use the clear term or you use the one some people may have to look up. Putting both like that reeks of "iamverysmart"ism and a synopsis, among other things, should never condescend. Check out the most recent chapters in the Book of Authors resource if writing a good synopsis is that much of an issue, it should help. The setting appears bog-standard enough for what it is, nothing exceptional. All that the character's background seems to lend early on is some THIS CANNOT BE crap you'd expect from a villainous breakdown. Yes, that's great, you took basic high school physical sciences and can mention those concepts! I'm still not impressed with the character at all, though. When you pick a supposedly smart professional as your MC, you can't afford to just pay superficial lip service to their vocation; a real scientist and not just a science student should have a more plastic view of what's possible or not, for one thing. All-in-all, this novel's introductory chapters failed to impress me in any of these three dimensions and this is where the rating takes its biggest hit. VERDICT As you can see, this is a Chapter 15 review. I do not owe the novel any more of my time trying to make it work, but obviously some people do find the additional investment worthwhile and have rated it well. I am not one of them. Each reader should ultimately judge this for themselves.

buttman
buttmanLv5
Related Stories

What Do You Mean There Are Other Transmigrators In My Harem Fantasy?

In the most cliched fashion, a giant truck-kun smashed into my World, killing everyone with it. And in the next most cliched event, I was given a second chance in life by the gods to live another life in a world of swords, magic and dragons! It’s literally a dream come true! Be a hero? Who has the time?! Conquer the world? Like hell I’ll do something so troublesome! Diving into dungeons, exploring ancient ruins and meeting all the weirdos of the world? Sign me right up!! I’m only interested in travelling the world to find the most interesting materials I can use to write the best story I can! I’ll show you my creativity and dazzle this new world with the stories I’ll write! I’ll fight with dragons, swim with krakens, wrestle giants, eat all the cakes and bed the beauties! Time to live this life however I want! Eh? A psycho is running around the world saying that they are the hero who will slay the demon lord? Why is there such a crazy person? There’s someone out there threatening the world with nukes? How did they even find out how to make those? Some crazy hobo is going into other people’s houses to smash pots to look for money? That guy really must be crazy. What Do You Mean There Are Other Transmigrators In My Harem Fantasy? ----- [Character Creation:] [Gender:] [Male] [Female] >[Futa] *** Notes: Any R-rated scenes will be denoted by a '*' followed by an 'R' with the number of 'R's showing how much of it is R-rated. '*R' would be around 25%, '*RR' would be about 50% and '*RRR' would most likely be the entire chapter. You can join our discord through this link: https://discord.gg/CRrb56c

Draekai · Fantasy
4.3
907 Chs