webnovel
Dicky_Cummie
Dicky_CummieLv46yr
2018-08-18 14:31

It's Good... That's it. Nah, I'm just joking... The world building here is amazing, yup, really! especially when the author adds up engineering on his fantasy world. But I found something that turns me down :< The *** jokes are being abused here too much, and I know the author even said that he wanted this novel to be comedic, but it isn't essentially needed to be *** jokes right? it's okay to touch it on and I gotta admit that at first, It was amusing and hilarious but, as time goes by it became toxic to the story to the point that I skip chapters. (Not only that, I am a bit skeptical of the author. Well, you see, he clearly shows his fetishes on as* l*cking, and those big racks of his characters in the story, some *** jokes is a bit too much. In short, I don't want to offend the author but his writing shows his sexual desires, making me think that the author is a single who has not experienced real relationships... Please, author, don't get offended >.<) And that's not only the reason why I skip chapters. Some chapters are not that necessary to the story honestly, an example of this is the longest school entrance arc that I had ever read, yes the point of this is to add more and expand plot lines but man. Well, the start gets me hyped because of the uniqueness of the story, and I don't want review it fully because the story clearly isn't in the climax yet. But I do hope that the author improves the things that I've pointed out. it'll make the story enjoyable to read. There are many potentials in this story, I'm a writer too not here but on Royal Road... I am the same as the author who wants to improve English (well I want to improve my English grammar) and share our fantasy to inspire others. There are still good and fun or positive things about this novel, and there's a lot! my stars wouldn't be 4 if it isn't that great, right? But, fellow author, keeeeeep up the good work! and continue to inspire others!

Liked by 2 people

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Replies2
kcgrabin
kcgrabinAuthor

lol, are the *** really that much? seems like I have to trim them down

kcgrabin
kcgrabinAuthor

ugh, but my *** are not that many to the point that my novel was saturated with it?

Other Reviews
LuxEmperor
LuxEmperorLv10

This book has a lot of potential but I feel like it’s being missed due to certain issues. 1) The characters and that includes the main characters seem to have no emotional connections.I have mentioned before how this novel especially in relation to the main characters connection reminds me of Rise of the Three Gods but the difference I’ve seen is that the characters have no real emotional connection to each other. Whether one is happy or sad or any other emotion the characters don’t concern themselves with this the only thing they seem to care about is ensuring that one doesn’t die besides that nothing. I believe from what I’ve read if Fang Lin and Fang Yu were able to develop and grow without each other or the connection they absolutely would not care for the others wellbeing. Wang Hao if he didn’t need them to get stronger wouldn’t care about them either. No emotional connections have been developed leading stagnation or lack of development in the characters. 2) Wang Hao is in comparison to all the other divine and godly divine bloodlines way overpowered even under sealed conditions and this overwhelming strength is one of the reasons where he is unable to truly connect with Fang Lin ,he is never in a condition of vulnerability to help foster emotion connections. Even with only a few seals released he needs almost no one to truthfully help him. 3) The speed of their development I’m not saying power them up super fast but I’m assuming that the person who sealed Wang Hao is simply getting stronger and Wang Hao who already seems insanely overpowered is supposedly weaker that the person to sealed him with he fact that we don’t actually know how long he’s been sealed in the coffin and how long it’s talking them to reach higher realms it seems like by the time they are powered up and Wang Hao is fully unsealed their opponent will only be more powerful besides Wang Hao is not gaining more strength as he’s unsealed he’s just returning to his initial strength so that makes it seem like getting revenge is impossible. 4) As readers we like to see the main character that was seen as trash improve in status and genuine happiness as he goes further in his path but in many ways Fang Lin is more pitiful than when we actually met him. That with the completely opposite treatment of Fang Yu doesn’t make me in see her in a good light at all providing to much to light to one character just makes the readers focus more on the neglected character and could actually turn readers against Fang Yu in the long run. I mean if you have a family member and you have a good relationship with them you would tend to help them even if it’s only small things but Fang Yu from the moment she was picked up by Xiao Ya has basically gone on her own the interaction between her and Fang Lin has been solely based on cultivation needs. In treatment of main characters in stories with multiple main characters it’s important to try and keep the treatment of each balanced or at least not so skewered to one side. I think that’s another area when Rise of the three Gods beats you in. 5) Reading the novel there are instances where your treatment of one character is truthfully brutal almost to the point of being cruel and this does keep readers interested as we want to see that characters situations actually improve but if you keep using that as the thing to keep people reading and waiting for that can backfire as it’s basically you creating an itch for the readers that is never actually being scratched which if anyone knows anything about that feeling eventually leads to just intense rage at the book at the author at the entire story. There are lots of elements of the story that people enjoy using that to keep people reading may lead to people actually disliking the book rather that actually enjoying. Lots of us read light novels like this because we like seeing characters achieve their dreams, improve their status and life but in ways you’ve done the exact opposite well it’s definitely original but a novel can be original without taking out the things people genuinely loved about other novels. Well I wrote this cause the author asked me to. Maybe not what she meant when she asked but I did it and spoke honestly about what I saw as a reader. Hope you’ll take sum of my suggestions to mind or at least work on some of these areas. This is my first ever review and probably way to long so sorry for that

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