Review Detail of John_Whiskey in Rebirth: The New Game of Life

So I've read some of it, and this guy need a proof reader or an editor to fix the glaring text errors, the him/her and I/them/you are just a couple of the most obvious examples where the authors meaning in describing the who/what/how situation is happening is confusing and/or contradictory to what the author intended😩 If those errors can be fixed then this may be a decent story, until then it feels like a somewhat machine translated story 🙁