The author used a lot of the word ‘then’, I hope the author deletes it or uses it in a way that is comfortable to read. Also, the story plot seems interesting but there is something about reading it that is the issue. I hope this quote help the author when editing his work and that is, ‘you need to become the reader when you edit the story instead of its writer’. On that note, I wish the author all the best with his new work. Keep it up!![img=recommend]
Mel_Aniv
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