Review Detail of DjxCarma in NICOLE (#1 Broken) 1st Draft

It took me awhile to read this all. Had to go back and fort to understand each moment. The story is good, but the writhing needs a few adjustments. Then there another thing that picked up my interest and was the multiple ways of the narrative going back and fort from third person to first person and it becomes too confusing from time to time. But aside from that, the story was great so far as I could tell.