Review Detail of MatrixPrime in All out War - Book 1

The book most definitely needs a ton of edits, but it will take us time. Being relatively new to book writing, we need a start, a base line. We plan on finishing this book. Though book two will take a long time to create it. Thank you for your feedback!

Dear, Writers Hello! I would like to add some editing tips to your story! First I want to complement your story and say it's interesting to an extent. really good job tho i think the editing will be easy. So, first off I would like to start with the characters of this story. I would like for you guys to create your characters personalities and keep that near you the next time some conflict in the story happens just so you know how the character can act and respond. I did see some personality in some but not much in the rest and all the characters have relatively the same personality and same reactions to certain situations. Expand your persons and broaden your characters actions to create character. Secondly, try to spice up the story and add more relations and background to your characters. there are some relations to some characters but you expose them way to soon than you need it to be. So try saving some of that for an surprise for your readers and while that is in place it will create suspicion and mystery. I know the story is suppose to be Action and adventurous but many and i mean many readers like a good conspiracy to rave about. So, to tie this together, make your story more oo and aw and less cutting to the chase. (in my opinion there was many time you could of saved a "surprise" for later and made a big turn of events) Lastly, (I don't want to keep you guys reading this for to long) try to add more definition, details, and mechanics in your story. The story would be good if it doesn't cut to the chase a lot. as interesting as it is, it needs detail and more explanations. the mechanics behind the story and its characters need to be bigger and show that you put thought into this story. Add different problems or make something show up differently that hasn't shown up yet. Summary: add details and extras to increase readers attention. Ill be reading and commenting on your story and development as you progress.