It has some potential but I'm just gonna state everything I think Is wrong with this fanfic 1. It lacks realisticness like this man is doing stuff beyond human capabilities yet they keep saying he dosent have a quirk also they dont question him bringing yachiru to school at all 2. Your writing is to clumped up together you need to space some of it apart and do punctuation I recommend grammarly it's a app that would help you alot 3. All his abilities and spirits are too much especially If bleach fans read this I think you should give more detail and explain each spirit and abilities like I am and anime only fan for bleach So I dont know anything about ywache yet and hollow black so it would be nice if you could explain the abilities in detail 4. I think the mc personality is lacking and too care free so I think if you make him more aggressive it would be better So this is all I have for you if you fix these things it would be golden
MasterBeast7016
Curtido por 22 pessoas
GOSTAROf course humans can lift cars that's not beyond human capability but leaping from roof to roof and destroying robots that are 50 feet tall is
Balls_Deep69:Its fiction dude. Plus, people do stuff that are beyond human capabilities all the time, a mother lifting a car, for example.
antmanFN:Of course humans can lift cars that's not beyond human capability but leaping from roof to roof and destroying robots that are 50 feet tall is
nah there's strong men as in the title who i've seen lift cars and mothers and fathers who've been able to lift cars when their child is in danger (cough adrenaline cough) but keep in mind its just lift not pick up or throw xD
BigBangOrko:yeah you mean toy cars...... right......🤔
MacLeankheimseb:There's nothing selfish about a guy who spent a whole day cresting suits for three girls he only just met a few days ago
Balls_Deep69:Its fiction dude. Plus, people do stuff that are beyond human capabilities all the time, a mother lifting a car, for example.
MyrMyr:nah there's strong men as in the title who i've seen lift cars and mothers and fathers who've been able to lift cars when their child is in danger (cough adrenaline cough) but keep in mind its just lift not pick up or throw xD
I've never seen it... I've seen people move cars while in neutral or drive by pushing or pulling but actually lift a car that's only happened in movies
MyrMyr:nah there's strong men as in the title who i've seen lift cars and mothers and fathers who've been able to lift cars when their child is in danger (cough adrenaline cough) but keep in mind its just lift not pick up or throw xD
Its called hysterical strength, smartass. look it up. And yes, it has happened before, and you’d know this if you bothered doing any actual research.
DragonslayerKnight:i can't stand idiot's like you . name the time you saw a mom lift a car. I'll wait
what for real? never seen that well just search on youtube its not that rare i mean its just lifting a car
DragonslayerKnight:stop lying you have never seen anyone actually lift a car.
DarkKnight32:what for real? never seen that well just search on youtube its not that rare i mean its just lifting a car