This novel is pretty good in my opinion. However, a review is a review and I need to state my thoughts on the flaws. (I ignored the grammatical errors as requested. :) ) First of all, some of the dialogue feels a bit off at certain points of the story. However, you did manage to fix that in the later chapters so keep up the good work on editing some of the earlier chapters. The characters are pretty much fleshed out, but well, due to the first flaw, they could feel robotic. However, as I said before, you did fix it up a bit in the later chapters. To be honest, your world is pretty good, although I prefer not knowing the characters' names first. You can introduce your characters through dialogue which also helps with the plot. However, you can just ignore this if you don't feel comfortable doing so. After all, that would be a lot of peer-editing to do. That's all I have to say. Keep on improving and good luck!
Mystic_Dragon_
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GOSTAR