Review Detail of PervySempai in Naruto: Bloodline Saiyan
Detalhe da revisão
While still readable, I've read mtls with better grammar, I liked the interactions with Mc and Kakashi, but the sakumo interactions are bad, the love interest is an oc which I'm cool with but the Mc simps way to hard right off the bat, plus mcs like mentally mid 20's at least and she's like 10 bro that's just gross I get kohona has some were standards when it comes to the academy and people falling in love, but its different for them because there both the same age physically and mentally, him declaring his love at first sight comes off with some serious pedomaru vibes and kinda killed the story for me
Naruto: Bloodline Saiyan
BrazilNobAutor
Liked it!
GOSTARRespostas6
nah bro, I'm not an editor, it was merely a comment on the level of grammar for interested party's, just run your story through grammarly or chat get, it'll improve it greatly and show you where you made mistakes.... plus most of my review is about the character interactions which I feel are the most important
BrazilNobAutor:Warning has already been given about grammar in the novel's synopsis. As I tell everyone, it won't be any different for you. If it bothers you so much, give me your contact details and I'll send you the chapter and you can fix it for me, ok?
PervySempai:nah bro, I'm not an editor, it was merely a comment on the level of grammar for interested party's, just run your story through grammarly or chat get, it'll improve it greatly and show you where you made mistakes.... plus most of my review is about the character interactions which I feel are the most important
My time is valuable, I'm not going to waste my time going back and looking for people or something to correct my chapter every time I write something to pass the time. About the interaction about Sakumo... it's true, I didn't know how to demonstrate his personality since it's something that doesn't "exist" But now I know how to do it and it will improve. Happy reading bye bye.
PervySempai:nah bro, I'm not an editor, it was merely a comment on the level of grammar for interested party's, just run your story through grammarly or chat get, it'll improve it greatly and show you where you made mistakes.... plus most of my review is about the character interactions which I feel are the most important
its not sakumos personality I have a problem with its how you've framed him into the family dynamic. Plus I recommended the correction programs because they show you where you've messed up so you can improve. If you took up writing in your spare time you obviously have some passion for it, I find that most people enjoy getting better at what there passionate about and was just trying to help.....
BrazilNobAutor:My time is valuable, I'm not going to waste my time going back and looking for people or something to correct my chapter every time I write something to pass the time. About the interaction about Sakumo... it's true, I didn't know how to demonstrate his personality since it's something that doesn't "exist" But now I know how to do it and it will improve. Happy reading bye bye.
BrazilNobAutor:My time is valuable, I'm not going to waste my time going back and looking for people or something to correct my chapter every time I write something to pass the time. About the interaction about Sakumo... it's true, I didn't know how to demonstrate his personality since it's something that doesn't "exist" But now I know how to do it and it will improve. Happy reading bye bye.