Review Detail of Seud in HOLY MAGE IN HARRY POTTER

World background and building is pretty much nonexistent. Dialogue is bland, an example was when the mc told his sister to watch out as “watch out”. No exclamation point to describe his concern or surprise at the situation. Hell we don’t even know how he died to a truck, he was in a theater with his sister watching the last Harry Potter movie and suddenly after a couple lines of dialogue are outside where the mc can be hit by a truck. There was no description of them walking and talking. It was like they were standing in the same place talking leisurely and suddenly the character monotonously told his sister to watch out. Grammar isn’t that great. You can understand stuff and words are used correctly but capitalization and punctuation are pretty much nonexistent. The mc is a blank slate to me, he doesn’t seem to have a personality at all. It’s like a robot trying to emulate emotions, the only character that has somewhat of a personality is his sister. Like I described earlier, story development is all over the place and not cohesive at all. Don’t bother reading this unless you’re incredibly bored.