Mr_O_
"Are you having a good time?"
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Mr_O_7 hours agoRespondeu a RINNArinnaI liked hearing where your motivation to write came from. I’m just curious why you gave yourself 3 stars.
- Mr_O_7 hours agoRespondeu a RINNArinna
Thanks! I’ll start reading your novel this week ;)
- Mr_O_8 hours agoComentou
Oh, and I actually love hares... :(
- Mr_O_8 hours agoComentou
This paragraph and the following two are the same ones used at the end of the previous chapter. I’m not sure if that was intentional or maybe a mistake? Just leaving this here in case it’s helpful👍
Este número foi suprimido. - Mr_O_9 hours agoComentou
I’d love to know how you’ll develop the idea of what happens to the current present when the character travels to the past. I’ll keep reading to see if I can find the answer myself.
- Mr_O_11 hours agoPostado
The story grabs attention quickly; it’s super well-organized and easy to read, without getting caught up in unnecessary details. The descriptions are clear, which keeps the flow going smoothly—perfect if you like a narrative that gets straight to the point. As a tip, I’d suggest adding a bit more emotion to the characters so readers can connect better with what they’re feeling and thinking; it’d make things feel more personal. One more thing: try breaking up some of the longer paragraphs to keep the reading light and easy. With those tweaks, the story and characters will definitely hit closer to home. Hope it helps!
- Mr_O_16 hours agoPostado
The protagonist stands out for his power and skill, along with a confidence and arrogance that he’s not afraid to show. His strong, assertive personality makes him a complex character, one who doesn’t hesitate to assert himself and pursue his own pleasure, giving him a dark, almost anti-heroic edge at times. While the combat scenes are good, they could benefit from more detail and intensity to make them even more immersive. It’s still early to give a complete review, but the beginning of this story shows potential, and it’s definitely intriguing to see where it will go and how it will evolve.
- Mr_O_16 hours agoComentou
Great strength from the girl, carrying the weight of three. She should be awarded a medal.
- Mr_O_17 hours agoComentou
This guy is probably gathering more and more enemies around him
- Mr_O_17 hours agoComentou
If I'm not mistaken, the name here should be Yu Kuan, not You Kuan... am I wrong?
