ELF_QUEEN

Story is getting interesting 🥰😘

you're putting too much of his inner thoughts, like...two whole chapters is just about his overthinking and telling himself it was normal or not normal. nothing drastic has really happened except that mirror scene. here's the trick, most reader decide wether to keep reading your book based on the first three chapters, so they need to be slightly fast paced and instantly hooking... characters questioning their reality the whole time is not a good hook...I hope you understand that I don't mean this the wrong your, you story has great potentials, but you need to hasten things up a bit for the first three chapters If you intend to let your readers stay and keep reading.

now, all these is supposed to be in chapter one, it has more potential to hook your readers

first chapter is supposed to be a huge turning point for characters, the beginning of the event that will forever change their lives...that's the trick to hooking readers

Hey bro, your story is great. but chapter one contains little to no detail of what your story is really about. if you're writing male lead and you want a higher chance if getting contracted, first chapter needs to be fast paced and straight to the point. you understand my point? first chapter needs to be a hook, to get your readers interested in reading your story, normal day activities with overthinking won't intrigue your readers...you get what I mean?

ohh, a married man 🤭

definitely Action packed 😌

I've read 32 chapters so far and I couldn't wait to drop a review... I'm not exaggerating guys, this novel is peak😍, the characters, plot, everything has me hooked... I'll definitely be reading further, kudos to the author for dropping such a masterpiece 😘😘.

yeah,...its okay right

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to write me this lovely review...I really appreciate 🥹🤭❤️