Goodorbad

Thanks I think I was not thinking straight because I read it now and I get it.

Here to give some advice!! First thing you have to fix is to slow down the story the way I see it right now is that everything is going to fast. Second is the character thinking and speaking try to put this “thinking” and this as ‘speaking’ it helps or you can look online to find what is better to suit you. Three it seems that all the characters are speaking in one paragraph you should fix that no one’s want to read multitudes characters in one paragraph which it’s confusing for a lot of readers. Fourth dont rush the story it seems that you are just putting what comes to mind which is good but put some logic into it and put some background story or some context of other characters like the first chapter i had no idea what was happening try to understand form the reader point of view we don’t understand what your thinking so the only way to show it is to explain to the reader what is happening but not to much info because no one likes it. “Good luck” Not my first language so sorry for not understanding it. Try to learn from other people work it helps.

He said it!!

Sorry but I don’t get what you mean in the 1. Do you mean that there’s no harem in this novel and no romance? I don’t get it but what’s with the war that what confuse me what does this have to do with the harem? Just asking because I don’t get what you mean in it.

Will great novel but I think I will stop here not because the novel was bad its just that I don’t like where the MC like to befriend the original MC it just makes the novel seem not fun I wish the mc to be alone and start his own life instead of wasting his time with the main casting.

Great novel so far but I am a little confused about the romance of we get it straight mc likes girl with big chest that’s why he doesn’t like the other girl but in the novel detail you give the other girl is the FL if I’m guessing it’s going to be a slow romance right please till me.

He will do that just for a novel like come on?

I think I read this wrong sorry but feel

He can’t see right why does he know how see looks like will what I mean is his girlfriend because he has not seen her face because he is blind but he recognize how the Ai looks like??

Reread again