Chris_Wal

Bro Author killing off my fav character. I can’t help but feel like this is a personal attack against me! How much more do I have to feed you to make it stop?!

NOOOOO DEAMONN WHYYY!!! Author you monster how could this be???

Maybe that’s the case but it still makes no sense that he didnt check because why would MC know that. Later on this very same thing I have a problem with here becomes much worse in later chapters so :/

Compared to Chiron, Dylan had alot of help from his plot armor/ destiny. Makes me all the more excited wondering how Chiron will steal it. 😈

Imagine if he had decided to taste another pair of lips before he started getting suspicious. 🤣 My poor boy Dylan.

The only real criticism I have of the story so far is the blatantly obvious and excessive use of the words “determination” and “testament to” which I am sure others have noticed by now. Its so bad to point the same exact words are used back to back for several sentences and I know multiple synonyms and ways of expressing the same exact thing. Honestly I wouldn’t care if I didn’t also realize that other works I read exhibit the same tendencies which I find odd. Are these authors using some kind of AI program to write parts of their stories?

Yea bro I’m really sorry but I lose my immersion alot when I see things that don’t make sense to me and even if I am an idiot I at least try to pay alot of attention to what I am told from a story. If you can tell me if the story structure improves in the later chapters or not I can tr to keep reading and remedy my review. No hate author, I just believe in contrsuctive criticism and not trying to hate on you or the story.

[Spoiler free review] Unfortunately I can’t give this higher than 4 stars if even that as just a curtesy. I read up to chapter 100 and felt myself wanting in more ways than one with the dialogue, some of the characters, along with some of the decisions and events that occur. If you like the idea of the premise and don’t care to much about writing fidelity and some plot conveniences here or there then it’s still highly possible you will enjoy what is written well. Albiet maybe some of the MC’s decisions might make you shake your head. The biggest problem for me though is inconsistencies with the MC himself. His competence in combat is very extreme for his stated background and newfound abilities and he doesn’t ask alot of (should be) natural forming questions about the events happening around him yet still finds the best way forward when it matters most which was beyond infuriating. All in all, the world building and aesthetic descriptions are pretty good, the dialogue is pretty bad and lacks authentic substance most of the time, and alot the plot devices and characters (besides his first 2 friends and the pirate captain) feel 2 dimensional

Bro I already thought of that. If you were paying attention, it clearly says the backlash effects of adding a new curse don’t activate UNTIL he manually assimilates with it in that black space he visits inside him.