Cloudee77

Overall, a very honest attempt. Very interesting world background, you can surely build up upon that. I would like to say that, it could be way better if you paced the story in such a way that we, as readers could glimpse the world and the characters intention on our own. The various informations in the beginning could be edited, grammar needs some work. Overall, interesting concept.

I started reading it from the middle, so here are some of my impressions. first, I liked it a lot better than if I had started reading from the beginning. the reason being the specific kind of writing style (very much like the Japanese style light-novels, which I usually don't like). there are no descriptions of surroundings, mostly the story relies on conversation and actions of the protagonist and his team. But even the style (with name of speakers coming after the dialogue) started to become irrelevant and not as much distracting. when i reached the end, it became obvious why this style would go so well with this writing style. second, the characters and their interactions were very catchy. they have very well written character depth, you could easily find their quirks.third, I would like more descriptions of the world please! Descriptions specifically about surroundings and buildings and such like so that it becomes more easy for imagination. And that's it. I didn't imagine I would get so invested. But this very old-japanese style adventure story really has some perks and will continue to chase later on. Best of luck writing.

The protagonist of this book is really grey on moral spectrum, which kind of leaves a lot of interesting choices for later development. She is, though a very archetypal 'villainous', but she is no dainty innocent 'victim'— very well put by the author, a 'scorned' character hellbent on revenge (and for which she can do anything).The background setting is very cool, all serve the story very well. the later chapters I hope will flesh out many background characters and their intentions. Though it appears to have too many adjectives and description in the beginning— if anyone is impressed by the story introduction and wants to read, I would recommend jumping to chapter 3/4 and then re-read the first two as a prologue. interestingly paced storyline that really pushes you into scrolling and keep scrolling.

It's an intriguing idea, very adventure like, with well spaced development. Would like though if you could develop more in line with more descriptions of the surrounding. It will give your writing more feelings. Loved it.

Your attention to details are really nice. there is plentiful imagery to set a tone for the following action, interesting as it sounds if does at moments feel a bit too descriptive. I find that issue in my own writing so, I can't say what needs to be averted, but i personally like descriptions a lot, small details, sounds, action and emotions. I liked your writing, and I wish you best, please continue writing with as much vigor and joy as you did in the beginning. It shows.

Gripping tale. the pace, the writing quality, or the imagery portrayed by the mc, everything was good. there were slight moments in the beginning when one would want to not let the overstressing of certain emotions, or say, phrases repeatedly...but later on it itself begins to feel like a essential for sketching out the character more clearly? Loved it, would like to revisit of in free time.

Will do in next editing😅

The writing style is really good. Though the pace may seem fast at times, but still the characters development itself saves it. The idea is good, and the background development prompting the main characters are well laid out. Loved the style of writing.

Wonderful beginning. Though it's just one chapter but I can feel the potential it holds. The pacing, the mysterious elements and a glimpse of the outer world. Great work.

There are actually many nice ones out there, if you are into them, really 😃.I appreciate your thought, and that you liked my mc. also thanks for review.