DevilKing1994

Surely Viserys wouldn't do something so idiotic without at least talking to his brother first since Aenar is Daemons son

Umm? what? Why is Rhaenyra saying thank you? he gave the crown to Laena

I don't get the bit where you say He spoke with courtesy It's meaningless you don't need to say that he is doing that we already know don't tell show

Ok I have to stop reading this now It's just so bad the level of Cringe is overpowering I like the concept and the idea of Duncan creating Soap and using the profits to improve his families holdings but the character interactions are awful and make no sense

Crows? Don't you mean Ravens?

So far this story has been extremely Cringe I like the concept but it's all over the place I can barely stand to read it You need a Beta Reader and to do a Rewrite

People don't talk like this unless speaking to a little child like 1-5 years old lol And given Duncan has shown he's more mentally grown than most I doubt his father would act like this

This is getting too over the top He's a Baby himself ffs slow him down lol

What an absolute mess I wish I'd skipped every chapter so far hopefully the next one will actually be sane

I'd say "Idiotic" is more like it So far this has been the hardest story I've ever read Part of me wants to throw my pc out of the window and walk away from the internet But it's only Chapter 1 I always give a fair chance so I'll keep reading for now